Gonzo: Very serious advice on fantasy football

Here is an excerpt from Thursday's fantasy football chat on Philly.com with columnist John Gonzalez:

Comment from Dwayne Bowe: What's the deal with Matt Cassel? And will I be any good without him?

Gonzo: Really? We're starting with the Dwayne Bowe shtick right away? We couldn't wait a few questions? Fine. Not having Cassel - who's almost certainly out after having an appendectomy - has to, uh, hurt. But I doubted you before and you've burned me every week since then. I think you'll get your points, if only to prove me wrong one more time.

Comment from Brett: (over a megaphone) Johnzalez, please come down off the bridge. It is fantasy playoff time and people need you. Also, Dwayne Bowe had 0 points and people won't make fun of you. We have a case of 4 Loko for you and a beard comb.

Gonzo: My beard and I are just fine without a comb. Doubt DB at your own peril. The guy will probably crush San Diego all by himself this week, after which he'll take my Page 2 job and my dog just to make sure I got the message.

And careful with the "people need you" nonsense. The men in white lab coats will take you away to a padded room if you keep that up.

Comment from Big D: Please pick one WR: Bowe, Lance Moore, or Jacoby Ford from Oakland.

Gonzo: Bowe. Always Bowe. I'm the fantasy football version of Sisyphus, doomed to forever roll the Bowe boulder up the hill.

Comment from Jane: I am a big time Eagles fan. My fantasy team consists of Mike Vick, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, David Akers. My receivers this week are Maclin, Percy Harvin, Sidney Rice, Deion Branch. Need 3. Who do I bench? Also, I just picked up Celek from waivers. I have faith in him. What do you think about benching Mercedes Lewis for Celek?

Gonzo: Maclin, Harvin, and Rice are in, Branch is out. Lewis is in, too. I appreciate your faith in the Eagles, but you might want to step away from the Joe-Banner-approved, midnight green Kool-Aid for a while. Ten out of 10 doctors think it's bad for your brain.

Comment from Section118: Choose 2. [Michael] Turner vs. Carolina, [Adrian Peterson] vs. Giants, LeSean [McCoy] vs. Dallas. I normally bench Turner, but his matchup is appealing.

Gonzo: Really tough decision. As much as it pains me to do this, sit Shady. Turner's matchup is ridiculous, and you're not going to bench AP. That means McCoy is out even though he's been a consistent RB1 for much of the year.

Comment from BaBa Boowie: Howard says "Hello." Which QB: Vick or [Kyle] Orton?

Gonzo: Tell him hello and congrats on the new contract. Also, if he needs someone to be on the show and regularly humiliate himself, I'll do it for cheap. (I currently do it for cheaper.)

Vick.

Comment from Redbeard: [Carl] Crawford, [Jayson] Werth, or just Werth's beard?

Gonzo: Crawford, Werth, but the beard is Crawford and Werth. That's complicated math. I'll break it down Good Will Hunting/chalkboard style next week.

Comment from Brett: I need an opinion on this. I am the commissioner of a league going into the playoffs. The 9th place guys dropped Ray Rice without picking anyone else up. He was called on it because it will help a team in the playoffs and it is a Keeper league. He said that Rice isn't having a great year (he isn't) and dropped him to pick up someone else before the league ended. I think it is very shady. Your thoughts?

Gonzo: No one drops Ray Rice no matter what kind of year he's having. Totally shady. He should be flogged and then tarred and feathered with the league rule book.