You put the left guard there, the left tackle there . . .
And then you get your Shawn Andrews on!
The injury plague that's had the New York Giants doing the hokeypokey with their offensive line continues for their regular-season finale against the Redskins.
Center Shaun O'Hara aggravated his left Achilles tendon twang last weekend, which means Rich Seubert goes from left guard to center; left tackle David Diehl moves to left guard; and, Giants fans, your starting left tackle for Sunday's game with the Washington Redskins will be none other than the irrepressible Andrews, achey-breaky back and all. The former Eagle would not say whether he was up to playing this week. (Our advice to coach Tom Coughlin - monitor Twitter, watch YouTube, and keep checking Facebook, because you never know where the answer will come from.)
Nothing much on the, uh, line in this one, just a game the 9-6 Giants must win to keep their playoff hopes alive.
New York needs to either win or tie Washington and have Green Bay (9-6) lose at home to NFC Central champion Chicago to get into the postseason.
Pay no attention to the man with the Super Bowl ring
OK, so Cleveland coach Eric Mangini was running drills at the Browns' practice facility in Berea, Ohio, earlier this week, when team president Mike Holmgren wandered onto the field and called over kicker Phil Dawson for a chat; then talked to a few other players; and consulted with adviser Gil Haskell, a longtime friend and former member of Holmgren's coaching staff at Green Bay and Seattle.
Should Mangini be worried that the Super Bowl winner is about to move from the front office back to the sidelines? Well, Browns quarterback Seneca Wallace believes Holmgren is angling for a return to coaching.
"I kind of do, just because things probably haven't turned out the way he wanted on offense - and being an offensive guy, I think he still has that itch to come back to coach," said Wallace, who played for Holmgren in Seattle.
Mangini, given one reprieve by Holmgren last January, may not get a second as the 5-10 Browns stagger to the finish of another disappointing season - their ninth with double-digit losses in 12 years. Browns owner Randy Lerner brought in Holmgren to fix his franchise, which has undergone nearly constant change in the past decade. (No word on what Lerner is going to do with his other football team, Aston Villa, currently mired near the relegation zone in fifteenth place in the English Premier League.)
Ben, is that you?
When Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger hit training camp in August, teammates noticed a change: he was less self-absorbed, joking with other players, friendly with fans seeking autographs, smiling not surly.
This was a different Roethlisberger, less rude and less crude. His troubling off-season and the four-game suspension that resulted from it appeared to have changed him and he promised to mend his ways.
Some Steelers wondered if it was only an act, but Roethlisberger appears to be as determined as ever to put what he calls the "Big Ben" character he had become into his the past. There have been no public slip-ups, no locker-room grumbling about any regression in the way he performs his job or treats people.
If it's all an act, it's a pretty good one.
"I said I needed to be more cooperative with people, be a better person," Roethlisberger said after the Pittsburgh chapter of the Pro Football Writers Association voted overwhelmingly to present him with a media-cooperation award that is named for Steelers founder Art Rooney Sr. "It's just a change I wanted to make in my life."
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell planned to suspend Roethlisberger for six games, a punishment later cut to four games. Goodell said Roethlisberger has gone above and beyond what the league sought, and no one associated with the team or league has said anything to the contrary.
Improving by leaps and bounds
Tampa Bay's LeGarrette Blount still may be best known for punching an opposing player in college when he was with Oregon, but the rookie is well on his way now to making a name for himself as a tough, physical runner with the Buccaneers.
The 6-foot, 247-pound rookie running back had the fourth 100-yard game of his career last week and enters Sunday's game with 941 yards. His career-best 164 yards included a burst of 48 yards in which he hurdled Seattle safety Lawyer Milloy about 15 yards downfield, cut to his right, and headed up the sideline to set up a touchdown pass.