Following the Eagles' disappointing loss at home to the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday, everyone has an opinion why the Super Bowl champions are looking mediocre this season.
Bob Brookover thinks Eagles head coach Doug Pederson deserves blame for the loss, pointing to a bad challenge and a wasted timeout early in the fourth quarter. Mike Sielski thinks Carson Wentz doesn't look like the quarterback he was last season. Bod Ford writes that Jalen Mills might be the least of the team's defensive problems.
But former Eagles linebacker and one-time New Jersey congressional candidate Garry Cobb had the most interesting explanation for the team's disappointing start this season: too much sex.
"I think they need to go on a fast. Not food fast… the boys need to be cut off," Cobb said on FOX 29's Good Day Philadelphia on Monday.
"From… from sex?" host Mike Jerrick asked.
"The goodies," Cobb responded, adding, "It fogs up your mind… they can't think."
Cobb seemed to be parroting the advice Burgess Meredith's Mickey gave to Sylvester Stallone's struggling Rocky Balboa: "You lay off that pet shop dame. Women weaken legs." But he clearly had the bedroom on his mind. Following the segment, Cobb looked down at his watch and said, "In fact, I'm heading back home right now to handle that business."
Former Eagles offensive lineman William "Tra" Thomas, the co-host of 97.5 The Fanatic's new morning show, said he didn't always adhere to the abstinence advice during his playing career. But Thomas did say he had a cutoff.
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"Right around Friday night was usually the last," Thomas said Tuesday morning. "Saturday nights before the game I was really focused… I wanted to curl up and watch The Notebook before the game."
On Monday night, New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees became the NFL's all-time passing leader, moving past Peyton Manning on a 62-yard touchdown pass to rookie receiver Tre'Quan Smith during the team's 43-19 rout of the Washington Redskins.
"What a way to do it!" exclaimed Joe Tessitore, ESPN's new play-by-play announcer on Monday Night Football. Tessitore handled the historic moment expertly, remaining silent for nearly a full minute as the crowd roared and Brees celebrated with his teammates.
"There's only one word that comes to mind," Tessitore said when he broke back in. "Greatness."
Knowing Brees would break his record Monday night, Manning pre-recorded a congratulatory video in which he mocked the Saints quarterback for stealing his record.
"Drew for 1,000 days I've held the record for all-time passing yards in the NFL. And I gotta tell you, it's been the greatest 1,000 days of my life. Thanks to you, that's over now, and you've ruined that for me," Manning said. "So thank you very much. I have nothing left to look forward to except slicing my tomatoes, making dinner for my family, putting together this wedge salad."
Speaking of Monday Night Football, new analyst Jason Witten caused a stir last week when he made the odd claim that the NFL had become too "left wing" when it comes to protecting quarterbacks.
"I knew they were going to make it about the health and safety and protecting these quarterbacks. It just seems like we went a little bit to the left wing on that with our approach on trying to protect it," Witten said. "Not only are the players frustrated, but the coaches. They don't know how to coach this. That's when you have a challenge with this rule."
Ahead of last night's game, Witten told the Washington Post he simply mixed up his words.
"I was saying the pendulum was moving to the left and I guess the nerves of being a rookie — I mean trust me I would never get into rushing the passer and politics," Witten said. "The league just got a little out of whack when they were making the rule. They're going to tighten it back up and be able to adjust it. It wasn't left wing, obviously. It was an honest mistake."