Phillies showcasing the many ways to lose a baseball game

Yesterday, I wrote that the Phillies could really benefit from some production from third base. Today I'm saying what they need most is to stop playing the Blue Jays.

They've been shutout by a dominant J.A. Happ, who let three runs stand up for Toronto on Monday. They mounted a dramatic comeback on Tuesday, only to lose in extra innings. And last night they could do nothing but watch as the Blue Jays punched a hole in Cliff Lee during a catastrophic seventh-inning, nine-run misadventure, and lost by 10 runs. The beat writer tweets reached a new level of "grim:"

The Phillies have been outscored in this series so far 19-5; two out of three games they were on the wrong end of shutouts. They have gotten runs across the plate in only one of their last 35 innings. They have scored no runs on a former pitcher (Happ) and given up runs to a former catcher (Erik Kratz) (That one isn't really important, it's just tragically poetic). They've allowed runs on things as unsubtle as three homers in an inning and as surprising as a dropped third strike.

I mean, this. What is this.

When Bob McClure comes out to the mound to stroke his mustache and give an exasperated sigh, he's likely thinking the best possible intel he has is that it sure will be nice when the Phillies can stop playing the Blue Jays - a team that closed out April by losing nine out of 13.

Which of course, they can't, because this is a four-game series. So be sure to tune in tonight, when the Phillies will be losing on a walk-off interference/replay review/pitcher home run that caroms off the Blue Jays mascot in foul territory and goes over the fence.

I--you know what? He's right.