Philly’s kink scene speaks out about safe, ‘very chill’ parties, after Pa. senators pull funding from community center that hosts them

The William Way Community Center, a central hub of Philly LGBTQ life since the 1970s, found itself in a media firestorm this week when U.S. Sens. John Fetterman and Bob Casey requested to pull $1 million in federal funding after learning the nonprofit rents space to a group that hosts kink parties.

Kink parties can range from educational workshops to casual networking meetups to play parties, where attendees consent to certain protocols beforehand, said Jamie Joy, a sex educator and kink organizer in Philly. Protocols often include respecting people’s identities and confidentiality, not taking photos or using phones, and negotiating risks and boundaries in a consensual way with other attendees. Many of the parties are explicitly sober.

“These community spaces are where we can actually learn how to be safe and keep each other safe,” Joy said.

Earlier this week, the far-right social media account LibsofTikTok called out Fetterman and Casey for supporting a federal spending bill that included money for “an LGBTQ Center in PA which boasts rooms to try BDSM and s*x f*tishes and hosts BDSM and s*x k*nk parties.” Soon after, the Democratic senators pulled funding they had previously requested. While both senators signed letters to withdraw the funding, Fetterman has said he’ll work to restore it next year.

Some queer and kink advocates reacted with alarm, saying that kink is a normal part of human sexuality and that hosting safe parties that adults consent to attend is not something Congress should try to police. The monthly kink parties at William Way are run by a separate group called the Aviary, and have been held there for more than a decade.

Gil Cnaan, 39, cofounded the Aviary in 2011. He had attended “alternative lifestyle” parties in Philly for years but decided to start a new one after going to a particularly badly run kink party. It took place in a dark, noisy bar that had a drink minimum — all aspects that he felt made the party less safe.

Cnaan and others built their own BDSM equipment from scratch, consulting an engineer to make sure it was safe and accessible. They moved to William Way about a decade ago, partly drawn by the idea that their monthly rent money would go toward funding social services for the LGBTQ community.

William Way is home to an extensive LGBTQ archive and also provides peer counseling, workshops for seniors, and other programs. The center is currently fundraising $30 million to renovate its Spruce Street headquarters and the federal funding would have gone toward that project. The center rents its space to dozens of community organizations each month and brought in roughly $55,000 in rental income in 2021, according to the most recently available tax filings. William Way had a total revenue of $2.3 million in 2021.

These days, the Aviary party draws upward of 200 people each month, Cnaan said, and features space for education, socializing, a fort with coloring books, and a main playroom with “traditional kink furniture,” like St. Andrew’s crosses, spanking benches, massage tables, and rope suspension rigs. “Dungeon monitors,” which Cnaan likened to lifeguards, roam the space to make sure all is well.

“It is very chill. That is the thing that often surprises people who come in for the first time, because the thing that you would imagine if you have never been in the scene is that everything is very serious and very dark,” Cnaan said. “But no, it’s well lit. It’s a lot of people having a good time.”

The party is open to anyone who is over 18 and COVID-vaccinated. Attendees do not have sex, Cnaan said, calling the Aviary the city’s “101 group,” where people who are new to kink can learn and explore.

Joy, the Philly-based sex educator, said they first attended an Aviary party about 10 years ago. It was essential that the party was held in a “visible, public queer center” like William Way, Joy said, because they knew it would be safe to go there.

“It was my first time ever being in a kink space,” Joy said. “It changed my life 100% for the better, because I became so much more empowered and confident.”

Other longtime members of Philly’s kink community agreed.

“A lot of folks just want to socialize with other like-minded people where they won’t be judged and that isn’t a loud bar or club,” said Miss Mackenzee, a BDSM and sexuality educator who runs a dungeon in Delaware. Miss Mackenzee said she had attended multiple parties hosted at William Way.

William Way executive director Chris Bartlett previously told The Inquirer that the center would continue renting to the Aviary, as long as it continues to follow the center’s code of conduct, which includes “no sexual activity.”

“The event that the Aviary conducts is within our code of conduct and they promote sexual health and freedom in a legal, safe way,” Bartlett said.

The withdrawal of the funding request is “so cynical and it’s so goofy,” said Tyrell Brown, the executive director of Galaei, an LGBTQ direct service organization that runs Philly Pride. Brown, who called the senators’ response a “rash overreaction,” said that nonprofits often share or rent their spaces to community groups because there are few well-funded and safe public spaces where people can gather in the city — not just for sex-positive parties, but for any reason.

Despite the uproar, the Aviary will continue hosting its events. Its next kink party at William Way is Saturday.