How about them Cowboys, indeed.
Doug Pederson’s message when the team reconvenes Monday morning:
“At least we’re not Dallas.”
Pederson and his glitchy quarterback and his crippled roster, alone in first place at 2-4-1, welcome the 2-5 Cowboys on Sunday, in a monstrous mismatch for NFC East supremacy. The Cowboys have the worst run defense, a horrific coaching situation, and now they’re down to their third quarterback after Andy Dalton left the game in the third quarter with a concussion after a cheap shot from Washington linebacker Jon Bostic.
After the game, coach Mike McCarthy was asked why Dalton’s teammates essentially shrugged at Dalton’s misfortune and Bostic’s dirty play; why nobody got in Bostic’s face.
“We speak all the time about playing for one another, protecting one another," McCarthy said. "It definitely was not the response you would expect.”
Yes, McCarthy is new to the Cowboys.
If the Eagles lose this one, fire everybody. Doug. Howie. Dom, the Security Guy.
In case you missed it, and you should have, the Washington Football Team, which is the worst organization in all of sports, destroyed this iteration of Cowboys, which is the most overrated franchise in the history of sports. They lost, 25-3, and they got the 3 thanks to a kickoff return.
If the Cowboys are America’s Team, then America’s in big trouble. Oh. Wait.
For most people, it’s hard to say in which arena schadenfreude is more satisfying: sports or politics. For Philadelphians, it’s not. Eagles fans relish the misery of the Dallas Cowboys more than any neocon or hyper-lefty can reasonably understand.
They are a case study in dysfunction, a catalog of incompetence, all wrapped in a bandage of injury and bad luck. It could not have been more delicious for the Eagles and their fans, who, after winning Thursday night over the Giants, witnessed the slow car crash that emanated from Landover, Md.
Anonymous Cowboys players last week complained about coaching, which comes as no surprise, since the new head coach is Mike McCarthy, who wasted most of Aaron Rodgers' career in Green Bay. This week, the direction of complaint should be reversed; the coaches cannot be blamed for indifferent, incapable players. That blame lies at the feet of audacious owner and general manager Jerry Jones, whose ethics are rivaled only by his acumen — which is to say, negligible.
Jerry makes Howie Roseman look like George Halas.
The Cowboys have won just three playoff games in the last 25 years. Look at their current mess and it’s not hard to see why.
Their franchise running back, Ezekiel Elliott, apologized last week for losing four fumbles in the first six games; he should have apologized for losing his legs after just five seasons.
At least Zeke’s not hurt.
The Cowboys fielded their seventh different starting offensive line in seven games; only one starter remains. Each combination has been pretty awful. So has each player, for that matter. Jones might trade any Cowboy on his ranch for undrafted Eagles guard Nate Herbig; but then, a deal might be impossible, because, outside of his receivers, Jerry lacks assets.
Two weeks ago, the Cowboys lost their leader and the division’s best quarterback, Dak Prescott, to a gruesome ankle injury.
Dalton replaced him, but, predictably, he was awful last week, and he started out badly this week: He fumbled into a safety on their first possession, blew a fourth-and-1 early in the second quarter, then threw behind Elliott just before halftime at the Washington 11-yard line for a killer interception.
Dalton wasn’t benched. He wishes he had been.
With 6:22 to play in the third quarter, as Dalton slid at the end of a run, Bostic tried to take Dalton’s head off. He succeeded in only removing Dalton’s helmet.
The hit ended Dalton’s day (and Bostic’s, via ejection), which brought in seventh-round rookie Ben DiNucci, the 2015 Pennsylvania high school player of the year, from Gibsonia, outside of Pittsburgh. It went about as well as you’d expect.
Cowboys fans might take consolation in giving up just 25 points on the road, considering they entered the game surrendering 36.3 points per game, worst in the NFL. They shouldn’t. Washington quarterback Kyle Allen isn’t very good, either.
And the run game is worse. It was, anyway. Washington averaged 82 rushing yards in their first six games, worst in the NFL. They had 91 at the end of the first quarter, a season-high 125 by halftime, and finished with 208. Rookie running back Antonio Gibson finished with 128 yards, which is 25 more than his last three games combined.
Fantasy alert: Boston Scott owners, start your dude.
The Cowboys are coming to Philly.