Meredith Gaudreau pens emotional letter to late husband Johnny ahead of first Father’s Day since his death

Less than a year after the tragic car crash that killed Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau near their hometown in Salem County, the hockey legends’ families are preparing for their first Father’s Day without them.

Johnny’s wife, Meredith, penned a heartfelt letter to Johnny in The Player’s Tribune on Thursday, touching on the start of their relationship in Avalon, their engagement, becoming parents, and their final moments together as a family.

Since the brothers’ deaths, Matthew’s wife, Madeline, gave birth to their first child, and Philly native Meredith welcomed her and Johnny’s third into the family. Here are a few moments that stood out from Meredith’s letter …

Meredith began by sharing her first memories of meeting Johnny down the Shore and how that first summer turned into something so much more for the couple.

“Do you remember the day we met? I do. The summer of 2018, in Avalon,” Meredith started.

It was the night of her sister’s birthday party, and the partygoers convinced Meredith to join them at The Princeton. And while she didn’t know who he was, everyone else seemed to.

“I remember how everyone gravitated toward you. Everyone wanted to be near you. To see you. And I was like, Who is this guy? I didn’t know a thing about you.”

» READ MORE: Meredith Gaudreau surprises Sean Monahan with the Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy: ‘You mean everything to John’

Avalon was not just where the couple met, but also where they promised to spend their lives together. Meredith shared how on Aug. 29, 2020 — exactly four years before his death — Johnny proposed on the South Jersey beach.

“[Avalon is] such a special place to me,” she said. “I’m so happy I met you there, John. I’ll always think of you when I’m there, and I’ll always think of Avalon when I think of you.”

Meredith heartbreakingly recalled the moments leading up to the tragedy and how she found out. It was the fourth anniversary of their engagement, and she had just told Johnny that she was pregnant with their third child a week prior.

The week had been spent preparing for Johnny and Matthew’s younger sister Katie’s wedding — which was scheduled for the next afternoon.

Johnny kissed his family goodbye and left for the day, and Meredith later received a call from Katie saying that “something had happened but she didn’t know what exactly.” Meredith headed to the Gaudreau family’s house, unprepared for how her life was about to change.

She was “in shock” and “keeled over for days.”

“It’s completely indescribable,” she wrote. “I thought of our baby inside of me. I couldn’t stand up. I was awake and having nightmares. Thinking of you in that moment. Thinking of Matty.”

» READ MORE: Friends and family honor Matthew and Johnny Gaudreau at the inaugural Gaudreau Family 5K

Looking at her children brought new emotions, Meredith explained, as she realized they would have to grow up without their father and uncle.

“It’s just the worst thing I could have ever imagined. And in an instant, I missed you more than I knew was possible. And I haven’t stopped missing you since.”

On April 1, Meredith gave birth to the couple’s third child, Carter.

“I wish so badly that you could meet your son. That he could feel your touch,” she wrote. “John, I wish you could have held him. I think about it every day.”

Meredith recalled how great of a father Johnny was, and how he would teach Matthew to change diapers. He was their daughter Noa’s biggest fan, and Meredith said she is his, to this day. She can be seen wearing a “13” necklace, honoring her dad, in a recent Instagram post by Meredith.

The now two-year-old asked her mom if they could call Johnny this week.

“She doesn’t quite understand what happened,” Meredith wrote. “I tell her you’re in heaven and that we can look at photos and videos. It crushes me every time.”

Meredith wrote that the couple’s second-born, Johnny Jr., looks the least like John but has plenty of his personality. She said she finds pieces of her late husband in each of their kids, a constant reminder of his love.

“They’re all you, John.”

The letter ends with Meredith thanking her late husband for everything he did for her and their family, and telling him that she loves him.

“Thank you for the very best years of my life,” she concluded. “Thank you for making us a family. Thank you for being my best friend, my favorite person, the man of my dreams. I love you so much. Forever and ever.”