Kids report worrying about school, bullying, and friends in a new Nemours survey. Here’s how parents can help them cope.

More than a third of children between the ages of 9 and 13 say they worry at least once a week, a new nationwide survey from Nemours KidsHealth has found, sounding yet another alarm about the state of a youth mental health crisis exacerbated by the pandemic.

While worrying is a normal childhood emotion, anxiety and other mental health issues among children have been rising for years and have continued to increase since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“We call COVID the perfect storm for poor mental health — there was a lack of sense of time, purpose, regular social interactions. There was a lack of feeling control,” said Meghan Walls, a pediatric psychologist with Nemours.

The Nemours study surveyed 504 children online (with their parents’ permission) in January, asking children how often they felt worried, what they worried about, and how they dealt with those feelings.

The vast majority of children surveyed, 86%, said they worry sometimes. About a third of children said they felt like they worried more than other children their age. About 25% said they felt as though no one noticed these anxious feelings.

The top concerns for children were school and friendships. Among topics that kids reported worrying about once a week or more, the most common concerns were their looks and bullying.

To cope, about half of the children said they talk to someone. Children also reported distracting themselves, drawing or painting, going outside, watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling social media.

But while nearly all children who talked to someone about their concerns said they felt better afterward, far fewer of the children who said they used social media to distract themselves did. (More kids who watched TV or played video games as a distraction reported feeling better afterward.)

“Not all screens are created equally. There’s a lot more tied to comparison on social media,” Walls said.

Forty percent of children surveyed said they couldn’t focus when they were worried; more than a third said they felt sad or miserable.

When feeling anxious, nearly two-thirds of the children surveyed turned to their parents for support.

Walls advised parents to talk to their children about anxiety when they’re not feeling anxious — so they can understand how to spot signs beforehand. Some kids might say their stomach hurts; others might be unable to focus.

When a child is feeling anxious, parents should validate their feelings, instead of dismissing them. “If your child comes to you and says, ‘I’m so worried about my test tomorrow,’ you can say, ‘I understand why you’re stressed,’” Walls said. “Then you can offer help.”

Parents shouldn’t offer to fix their children’s anxieties, she said, but can suggest distractions or talk through their concerns.

If a child’s anxiety is interfering in their ability to function — not eating or sleeping or avoiding school and friends — it may be time to consult a professional, Walls said.

“Worry is pretty normal in kids; we expect it,” she said. “If it’s impacting your kid’s life to the point they don’t go to school, they don’t sleep well, that’s when you start to go above and beyond this normal worry and into a clinical concern.”