This week’s question (Have your own? Email us.):

The person I’m seeing took me to [Rittenhouse restaurant name redacted] three times in a row, and the third time I said I thought our server was nice. He said, “Yeah, you know she’s my ex?” I did not know that. He looked surprised that I did not know, but he also never told me. So we just keep going to the restaurant where his ex works? Am I part of a psychological experiment?

Elizabeth Wellington, Features Columnist

Girl, you are indeed part of a psychological experiment ... of the worst kind.

Rosa Cartagena, Arts & Entertainment Reporter

My gut reaction is run. Like I can hear Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost saying, “You in danger, girl.”

Elizabeth Wellington

I 100% agree. My question is: How many times did Old Boy take her there before he “happened” to run into his ex?

Rosa Cartagena

True, it seems unlikely that the ex was their server each time, so was he just waiting for that opportunity to ambush her?

Elizabeth Wellington

So, to answer your question: No, you don’t keep going to the restaurant where his ex works.

And you definitely need to step to him about that. If he shrugs his shoulders, you really need to bounce. Because he’s either:

None of that is a good look.

Rosa Cartagena

It’s for sure a red flag. He definitely needs to explain why he’d take you to the same restaurant on repeat because at this point, seeing his ex seems to be the only viable reason.

Not to be petty, but I also take issue with repeating a date night restaurant in the first place — where’s the creativity?

Elizabeth Wellington

That part of it, Rosa. I bet I know the restaurant he’s taking her to, but I don’t want to be catty.

Real talk: Would you believe any of his reasoning? I know I’d have a hard time.

Rosa Cartagena

I wouldn’t trust it. Especially after he basically gaslit her into thinking that he had already told her about the ex working there — he’s already lying himself into a corner.

The other person getting hurt here is his ex: There’s a cruelty here to him showing up at her workplace where she has no other choice but to serve him. Icky.

Elizabeth Wellington

And I want to know, how long ago did he break up with the ex? Is this dude still licking his wounds? Is this woman a rebound? It all sounds sketchy to me.

And you are right Rosa, there is cruelty to this pattern.

Rosa Cartagena

Is there any meal in this city worth a humiliation ritual? Don’t think so.

Elizabeth Wellington

Absolutely not.

Rosa Cartagena

Do you think there’s any explanation he could provide that would salvage this situation?

Elizabeth Wellington

Maybe if they were mutual friends and that was a restaurant the friend group went to.

But if you met this dude out of the blue and you had no connection to him, I’d be super wary.

Rosa Cartagena

Or if he was a food critic who had to visit multiple times for work (lol). But I think I agree with you — it’s not worth the weird vibes and the lying.

Find someone who’s not playing games in your face and who’s open to trying new restaurants.

Elizabeth Wellington

This is the definition of playing games in your face.

Rosa Cartagena

The only other thing I could imagine is that he and the ex are on good terms and this restaurant is so special it’s worth three trips. But even in that case, he should’ve been up front about the possibility of running into the ex from the very first visit. Nobody likes surprises!

Elizabeth Wellington

I think when you have to make too many excuses, it’s a red flag. I would definitely bring it to his attention. Then, depending on how much stuttering he does, I’d make my decision. But I’m leaning toward giving this cat his walking papers.

I wouldn’t let it fester.

Rosa Cartagena

Agreed, this feels like something that needs to be aired out sooner rather than later — ideally before he makes yet another reservation at the same spot.