his week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):
My child is about to start kindergarten and is excited about the school-provided lunch (he knows there is regular pizza). The menu looks mostly fine and I won’t stop him from enjoying it if everyone else is, but I noticed that he can choose to have chocolate milk every single day, which seems like a lot to me. Am I overthinking it or should I tell him he can only choose it once a week? I won’t even be there to see if he’s telling the truth. Do I ask the school to restrict it?
Jason Nark, Life & Culture Reporter
I also have a child starting kindergarten, but we have to supply all the lunches.
Zoe Greenberg, Life & Culture Reporter
Will you be packing chocolate milk every day?
Jason Nark
No way, but I’m not horrified by the idea. I was recently scolded for packing her marshmallows for summer camp lunch.
Leaving it up to the kid seems like a bad idea. I have to explain this to my parents, often, when they watch my daughter. They will argue “well, she likes (insert ice cream, gummy bears, YouTube, etc.) so we give it to her.”
Zoe Greenberg
So I was just rereading an article about “fat activist” (her words) Virginia Sole-Smith, the author of “Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture.” She talked about her own method for “unhealthy” foods — she lets her kids decide, and thinks it’s a way for them to figure out what they actually want/need.
For example, she serves brownies and Cheez-Its and chicken and broccoli at the same time on the dinner table, and the kids decide what to eat, how much to eat, and in what order. I was intrigued!
Jason Nark
I wonder if she’s teaching this kindergarten class.
Zoe Greenberg
Jason, would you talk to the school, or would you tell your daughter chocolate milk is a once-a-week delicacy?
Jason Nark
I would talk to the school, first, and if this was their policy, I would talk to my daughter and set some limits.
Zoe Greenberg
I feel like drawing attention to the chocolate milk as an everyday option, and saying it’s not allowed, makes it seem so much more interesting and desirable.
Jason Nark
We don’t treat kids like adults (or shouldn’t) for a reason.
Zoe Greenberg
I might just say nothing and assume the kid won’t drink it every day? But I also have a five month old and he hasn’t ever gotten to drink chocolate milk.
In your school could you have chocolate milk at lunch? I feel like maybe I could, but I didn’t much. I’m picturing the little brown carton.
Jason Nark
I think we could. I drank Pepsi at lunch every day, so that’s even worse. I grew up before people drank water.
Zoe Greenberg
You wish you’d been restricted?
Jason Nark
Maybe not restricted, just more informed. I wish my wrestling team had a nutritionist.
My daughter brings a water bottle to school every day and that’s her drink. If we go out somewhere, she can get chocolate milk or juice.
Funnily enough, a few weeks ago, we were eating pizza and I asked her if she wanted a sip of soda and she seemed horrified.
Zoe Greenberg
Wow. She wants WATER.
How would you deal with the fact that you won’t know if she does or doesn’t drink the chocolate milk, even if you set limits? To me it’s better to not introduce the “you can’t have this” and then the kid has to lie or find a workaround. (Or I guess follow the rule.)
Jason Nark
My daughter is a pretty straight shooter, so I think she’d follow the plan. I wouldn’t ban the chocolate milk, though.
My bigger fight is with the grandparents.
Zoe Greenberg
It’s true, the grandparents will say, “He didn’t want to nap so he didn’t” and I’m like of course he didn’t want to nap, but he really does.
Jason Nark
As an aside, I’ve interviewed a lot of dairy farmers who tell me real milk in schools is key to their survival.
Zoe Greenberg
Oh wow. And I think it’s a USDA requirement. The daycare center required us to sign a waiver if our child was allergic to cow’s milk, otherwise he has to get it.
Do you place restrictions on the grandparents?
Jason Nark
I try, but…
Zoe Greenberg
Sometimes we have to learn to let go.
Jason Nark
Particularly if they’re babysitting.
Zoe Greenberg
Yes. Unlimited chocolate milk is a small price to pay.
Godspeed to all as the school year begins.
Jason Nark
Enjoy the milk!
