his week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):
My neighbor installed a camera doorbell that can see my entire porch. We do have packages taken occasionally, so I get the desire to have one, but I don’t want to be constantly filmed when I’m on my steps. Our houses are so narrow that I don’t know if it would be possible for him to have one of those doorbells without filming my steps. How do I approach this with him?
Mike Newall
Okay, BackThatCameraUp, given the presence of one of Philly’s premiere music writers in this chat, we should begin with a musical exercise.
Play “What’s He Building” by Tom Waits, a song about a possibly creepy neighbor and suburban paranoia. If that song sounds even remotely like your neighbor, then we have a different conversation.
If not, I think we got some questions, like let’s talk porch dimensions here.
Earl Hopkins
Haha you hit it right on the head, Mike! Ask if the camera can be adjusted so you’re not being surveilled.
Plus, that will stop triggering so many false alarms to his phone or devices.
Mike Newall
Yeah, I think there are a few questions and realities here.
The porch: Are we talking South Philly top step or the great vastness of a northwest porch. Are you resting in the sun on this porch? Or throwing groovy bacchanals?
Also, if you live in the city, you’re on tape my friend.
Earl Hopkins
That’s true. If you’re in South Philly, there’s not much that can be done. I understand the discomfort of being surveilled by your neighbor, but it’s not like the camera is pointed in your living room. That’s a part of rowhouse living you have to accept. It doesn’t hurt to ask though.
Mike Newall
You got a right not to be surveilled like a common criminal (or an adult person who very likely enjoys picking your nose in privacy on your top step because who doesn’t?) and your neighbor has a right to feel protected.
The answer to so many of the questions are: have a conversation.
But, Earl, you’re a younger and cooler dude than me. What happens if the conversation fails?
Earl Hopkins
If conversations fail, it’s simple: A war of doorbell cameras will break out, forcing each of them to point one at one other — like cowboys’ revolvers in the Old West.
Mike Newall
Yeah and the upside is you’ll have access to all those cute front porch videos, like when a raccoon sniffs your mail slot (does that only happen in East Passyunk?).
Earl Hopkins
But seriously: I can’t imagine the conversation will veer too far left. More likely than not, the neighbor will adjust his camera, or try to make some kind of concession. At worst, there will be clarity from both sides.
Have you had a similar dispute Mike? You’re a South Philly resident, through and through. How did you handle it?
Mike Newall
No, I haven’t. My neighbors are all pretty tight knit. We do right by each other and look out. And I have definitely never ever picked my nose on the top step. Doesn’t happen.
Earl Hopkins
Let’s pull the tape and see for ourselves. For journalism purposes, of course.
Mike Newall
I plead the fifth.
