This week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):

Hi we decided to write this together so you have both sides fairly represented. We recently moved in together and it’s going great (young, gay, in love!) but we only have AC in the bedroom. One of us prefers the room wayyyy hotter than the other at night (80 degrees vs 70 degrees). One of us argues that at 70 degrees, the other person can just wear sweatpants. The other one argues that at 80 degrees it’s not that hot, it saves money, and the other person can focus the fan on themselves. What do we do??

Earl Hopkins, Arts & Entertainment Reporter

As someone who naturally runs hot, especially during the summer months, anything above 76 degrees is an absolute no-go. I never understood why some people like to bake under their covers, but our bodies all operate differently.

I think an easy compromise is to place the AC somewhere in the middle. Maybe around 75? That seems reasonable to me.

Stephanie Farr, Features Columnist

First, I love that they wrote this together. It shows they communicate well and are willing to face problems openly and honestly, which is a great foundation for any relationship.

Second, it’s often said that one of the things couples argue about most is money, but I’m of the firm belief ambient room temperature ranks pretty high up on that list too. It’s something you may not even think about until you move in with someone and realize they are the Human Torch or Mr. Freeze.

In my house, I am Mr. Freeze, so I’m fully siding with the partner who has the totally reasonable request to keep the AC at 70. 80 is way too hot. Heck, thanks to the Human Torch I live with I’ve discovered even 75 is too hot at night for me to sleep with a blanket on — and I need a blanket to sleep.

What’s your opinion on putting on more clothes vs. using a fan?

Earl Hopkins

I think it’s way easier to add a layer of clothes than it is to have the sound of a fan buzzing in your ear all night. It’s OK when there’s a heatwave and broken AC. But beyond that, I recommend throwing on a pair of sweats, a long sleeve shirt, or a beanie.

Also, I’m no electrician or HVAC specialist, but are you really saving that much money? I don’t know. Stephanie, how do you feel about cuddling as an alternative to 80-degree temps? I think there’s a cheat code there.

Stephanie Farr

Oh I love the cuddling idea! It promotes intimacy and is a good argument against keeping it warm in the room. Nobody wants to cuddle someone when they’re all hot and sweaty.

And I’m with you on more clothes vs. fan. You can always put more clothes on when you’re cold or pile up the blankets (and cuddle!) but when it’s getting so hot in there you’ve already taken off all your clothes and you’re still sweating, what then? Are you supposed to sleep with ice packs because a fan alone will not cut it?

Do you think that only having one room with AC — aside from the whole house — should factor into the decision?

Earl Hopkins

I think so! If there’s only one room your partner can truly get cozy in, give them free rein. It’s like giving your loved one the last slice of pizza or chocolate cake. Of course you want it, but it’s a lovely gesture that doesn’t require much sacrifice. A little chill at night won’t hurt!

Stephanie Farr

Agreed! The AC room should be considered a human refrigerator in this home — an arctic oasis where the one who’s Mr. Freeze can escape and find solace. The Human Torch partner already has all the other rooms nice and toasty, so they can go to sleep in one of them if they don’t like the cold.

I wonder if the partner who wants it 80 degrees at night may not be from the U.S. In that case, this makes a bit more sense. We’re very spoiled here. I remember a great column last year by Adrian Schulz, a journalist from Berlin who did a fellowship with us at the Inquirer last summer. He expressed shock, confusion, and mild horror at our AC habits here, writing: “Am I in a restaurant or in the Siberian Tundra? Am I at an airport gate or in a cryogenic chamber? Am I on the Broad Street Line or the Polar Express?” Meanwhile, when I went to Germany in September 2024, I was shocked, confused and mildly horrified by the lack of AC everywhere amid sweltering heat.

It’s what you’re used to, I guess, but living with a partner means getting used to new things. I think Earl has the best idea — a compromise at 75 — to start out (then slowly inch the temp down from there by dangling the possibility of more cuddles).

Earl Hopkins

More hugs and cuddles is good for the soul.