This week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):

My friends are throwing a Halloween murder mystery party and didn’t assign a role to my boyfriend even though I said “we are free!” I’ve gotten the feeling they don’t like him, but how do I respond? Should I not say anything and bring him anyway?

Stephanie Farr, Features Columnist

I definitely don’t think you should just show up with your boyfriend, or he might end up playing the role of the murder victim at this Halloween mystery party. Even if he doesn’t, your friends might treat him like he’s dead if they don’t like him.

I say you’ve got to bite the bullet and straight up ask your friends if you can bring your man. You also don’t want him showing up and feeling totally awkward if he’s unliked, especially if he’s the only one who doesn’t have a role to play.

Elizabeth Wellington, Features Columnist

It’s like you read my mind, Stephanie. This holiday mystery requires being straightforward. You cannot afford to be skeletal in your approach, you must jump in head on. Face the question like you’re bobbing for apples in your Halloween punch. Avoid the poison, but ask what is the issue with your boo?

Stephanie Farr

I think what this person may actually be fearing is learning what their friends think of their boyfriend. If they haven’t said anything good about him, they may not have anything good to say.

Do you think our questioner should ask their friends if they like their boyfriend? Or maybe just ask if they forgot to include him? It could have been a simple mistake, but it could go deeper too.

Elizabeth Wellington

I think you’re right. I suspect our dear reader knows deep down inside that their friends may see things in her partner that she doesn’t. When a person is smitten it’s hard to see their faults, but friends — especially old ones — can see the trash behind the mask. They see the person underneath the costume that clouds our lovelorn lenses. I highly suggest our reader to ask her friends what’s up before the party. The answer may frighten you now. But it’s better than feeling like death warmed over later after a bad breakup. Ask me how I know.

Stephanie Farr

We’ve all dated someone who wears a mask, and you’re so right that it’s really hard to see someone’s true self when you’re enamored by whatever facade they’re putting on. Our friends and family are often much better at spotting it.

I’m gonna play devil’s advocate here and say if our dear reader does bring their boyfriend to the party, they better hide him in a full-body greenman suit or be prepared to find out what their friends really think.

What do you think about our reader going to the party solo?

Elizabeth Wellington

I think that’s an option. But I don’t want her to give up on her boo. If her friends are truly her friends and they don’t like this guy, she should give them the opportunity to voice their opinion. If her friends, however, are engaged in tricks and treats rather than being honest about their feelings, our reader should be prepared to ghost and spend a lovely holiday at home eating peanut butter cups with her man.

Stephanie Farr

She could be bringing him into a vampire pit if her friends aren’t being honest with her. I will say I never offer up unsolicited negative opinions about people’s partners because I don’t want to get caught up in a spider web, but if I’m asked, I tell the truth. And there is nothing wrong with skipping out on a big party for a little hocus pocus at home with your boo. Honestly, he’d probably prefer that over hanging out with your friends who may or may not like him.

Elizabeth Wellington

I completely agree. Be honest. Ask your friends. And depending on how spooky the answer is, you can ghost your man or your friends. Just don’t ghost yourself.