Elysia Baskins and Christopher Johnson did not intend to raise a child together.

They instantly got along when they first met on Bumble in 2022; they both loved anime and eating Japanese food. But after their first date, Baskins didn’t feel the romantic chemistry, so they became best friends instead.

In 2025, Baskins got pregnant with her partner and asked Johnson to be the godfather.

She and her partner planned to live together with the baby. They signed a new lease on her West Philadelphia apartment and he packed a U-Haul. But he died by suicide on the day he was set to move in.

Baskins was left reeling, four months pregnant with barely enough money to cover rent.

Johnson, who lived in Fishtown, kept showing up. He drove her to prenatal appointments and watched episodes of Better Call Saul with her. Sometimes he stayed the night in her guest room when she didn’t want to face it alone.

In January, he was the one who drove her to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania to give birth. In the months that followed, he visited every week. He folded laundry; he built the crib. He told Baskins the baby could call him “DD,” short for “Diety-ous Dad,” a joking play on “godfather.” He calls her “Baba.”

The baby’s father was Black, and to Johnson, who is also Black, it felt especially important that the baby grow up with another Black parent.

“I never thought about it in a casual way, or a lackadaisical way,” Johnson, 31, said. “I fully planned to be the next parent, the third.”

In July, Baskins, 33, and her daughter, who is 8 months, moved in to Johnson’s home in Fishtown.

Baskins now works from that home, as a text counselor for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Johnson works as an inventory coordinator at a Kensington hardware store and as a home health aide for his mother. Though they are not romantically involved, neither are dating other people right now. They are raising her daughter together.

“With him not being her biological father, I wouldn’t necessarily feel like I need to consult him on all the parenting decisions,” Baskins said. “But I would want to anyway. So it almost doesn’t matter.”

The following, as told to Zoe Greenberg in separate interviews, has been edited for length and clarity and combined.

Baskins: I was very nervous because things weren’t ideal, but I had been really wanting a baby for a long time. I knew he would potentially be worried about me. It was planned, but maybe not entirely well-thought-out.

Johnson: I was a bit apprehensive. I cannot make that choice for anyone else, obviously. But I thought circumstantially, they weren’t ready. In terms of mental health, finances. My apprehension was known before the pregnancy — there are no real secrets between us.

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Baskins: As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I wanted him to be her godfather. I knew I was going to need to rely on a community of people to raise this child. It wasn’t going to just be me and my partner. If anything happened to both of us, he would literally step up and take care of her.

Johnson: They asked me together. I said yes, I’d love to. I knew I was going to be present.

Baskins: It wasn’t something I jumped on. I really thought it over for weeks, maybe even months. I asked everyone in my support system, “Do you think I should do this?” I didn’t want to put a big strain on our friendship.

Johnson: We talked about it when she was pregnant. At least I threw it out there as a thought. But it was just too hard of a time to try to make that kind of decision.

Baskins: I said, “If we move in together, I’m going to be here for at least five years probably before I can be fully independent ... I worry about when that time comes. She’s gonna be attached to you like you’re her parent.”

Johnson: I tried to be properly responsible and consider all the factors. For myself, my answer was: at worst, everything will be okay.

Baskins: He does a little bit of everything. He’s fed her. He puts her to bed. He changes her. He takes her out. He gives her baths. I just do that stuff more.

I think of myself as the primary parent, but I also refer to him as a co-parent. I don’t have the exact same expectations as I might have had of my partner, but somewhere in the middle — not just a regular friendship either.

Johnson: I think of myself both as godfather and as Dad. I’m proud to be the person that’s here, day in and day out, in this paternal role. But in no way will I not also honor her true father. Her father was a great dude. We’ll be as close as parent and child can be, but we’ll have to navigate that as she gets older.

Baskins: I’m not really interested in dating, but a time could come when that might be different.

Johnson: I’d rather have stability and everything settled for a bit before I go back into dating. We’re two grown adults who aren’t partners, living with each other and co-parenting. If one of us wants to date and have someone that we’re dating over, there’s a lot to explain ahead of time.

Baskins: I would love to still be living in really close quarters. We have talked about what if we want to get a house around the same time? Could we get a house together?

Johnson: I think we’ll probably still be living together. Or living in such close vicinity it’s practically like we’re living together.

This story is part of a series about life partners across the Philadelphia area.

If you want to share your story about who you’re navigating life with, romantically or otherwise, write to lifepartners@inquirer.com. We won’t publish anything without speaking to you first.

You are not alone

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, help is available:

• The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers help in more than 150 languages. Call or text 988. En Español, marca al 1-888-628-9454. If you're deaf or hard of hearing, call 1-800-799-4889.
• The Philadelphia Suicide and Crisis Center offers guidance and assessment about depression, self harm, hopelessness, anger, addiction, and relationship problems, at 215-686-4420.
• Veterans Crisis Chat is available at 1-800-273-8255 or by text at 838255.
• The Trevor Project offers crisis support to LGBTQ youth. Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or start a chat.