Is it rude to bring a store-bought Thanksgiving dish when everyone else is cooking from scratch?
And if you buy a pie, do you pretend you made it?
It’s almost Thanksgiving and maybe you’re not the cooking type. Or maybe you just have too much on your … plate. I invited two Inquirer journalists to answer the age-old holiday conundrum. We do get to the bottom of it.
Evan Weiss, deputy features editor: OK, the question is …
Is it rude to bring a store-bought Thanksgiving dish when everyone else is cooking from scratch?
Margaret Eby, food editor: I feel very strongly about this! The answer is no, of course not! Unless you said you were bringing a homemade casserole and show up with a bag of half-eaten Doritos or something, it’s not rude.
Sam Ruland, features planning and coverage editor: I think it comes down to how much you like these people.
Margaret Eby: Oooh OK so homemade is only for people you like? Or vice versa?
Sam Ruland: If they’re the relatives you adore, put in the effort. Make something, even if it’s simple.
If they’re the relatives who fight over politics and ask why you’re still single? Pay $12.99 for a pie, pop it on a plate, and walk in confidently.
Margaret Eby: Hahahah that’s a spicy take. To me, I appreciate someone bringing something. I love cooking! But I don’t always have the energy.
I also have a weird problem, which is that people don’t like cooking for food editors and writers. I think they assume I’ll judge them in the same way we review restaurants, and that’s not true at all. I find it to be a huge compliment whenever anyone cooks me anything, down to a grilled cheese.
But maybe that’s part of why I feel like it’s fine to let yourself and other people off the hook. Plus, restaurants and bakers and other professionals are great at cooking! It’s fine to let them cook for you!
Sam Ruland: I totally get that — cooking for food people does feel like a high-stakes audition.
Margaret Eby: That’s just because you can’t see us behind the screen eating string cheese for lunch.
Sam Ruland: And this is where my chaotic Thanksgiving philosophy kicks in: I’m a huge fan of buying something and quietly placing it in your own dish like you spent hours on it. If it saves your sanity, do it.
Margaret Eby: I support that entirely.
It is not anyone’s business who made those potatoes.
Evan Weiss: OK, what’s the best thing to buy and pass off as your own?
Margaret Eby: A whole pizza.
No, just kidding. But bringing a whole pizza to a party — it’s kind of a baller move.
Sam Ruland: Honestly, I’m more offended not by someone buying it from the store, but by not even trying to hide it. At least commit to the bit! Put it in a real dish!
Margaret Eby: I think if you’re attempting to pass it off as your own, you do have to be a little realistic. Like that beautifully crafted hand-latticed pie is a great thing to bring. But if you don’t bake pie, your cover is going to be blown pretty quickly.
The homemade thing people are always impressed by no matter how “rustic” it looks is bread, I’ve found. I’ll bring over a really complicated dish and bread as an appetizer, and people are always more impressed by the bread
Sam Ruland: Right, the pie lie has limits. This is why I fully endorse buying something like lobster mac and cheese, putting it in your casserole dish, and sighing deeply like it took you hours. Play to your strengths: commitment and presentation.
Margaret Eby: Feigning struggle is an important part of Thanksgiving!
Sam Ruland: The sigh, the smudge of flour on your shirt that you did not earn — it’s all part of the illusion.
Evan Weiss: Also, so many great restaurants around here do great Thanksgiving takeout. You might get some cred if you say where you got it. (Also, bonus because then you don’t have to lie.)
Sam Ruland: That’s true, restaurant flexing is its own kind of prestige. But I maintain: the quiet dignity of transferring it to your own dish and pretending you suffered for it? Iconic.
Margaret Eby: I think if you put the thought into picking up a fabulous pie from The Bread Room or a whole bundle of goodies from Zig Zag, for example, people will be just as impressed by that effort as if you made it your own.
Or I would be, anyway.
Sam Ruland: True! Like my family loves the cannolis from Isgros, so that’s something that would be a crowd pleaser no matter what and wouldn’t get grumbles.
Margaret Eby: Picking up cheese from DiBruno’s is also a great move. And you don’t have to pretend that you have a secret cheese cave in your basement.
However, I believe that the holidays are all about long-running bits with your friends and family. And passing off a dish as your own instead of purchased is a classic bit.
So maybe DO pretend you made the cheese, why not.
Evan Weiss: “Yes, I made this wine in Sonoma in 2013!”
Margaret Eby: “It was a great year, thanks!”
Evan Weiss: So the answer is: No, it’s not rude to bring prepared food. But either commit to the bit or get it from somewhere good.
Margaret Eby: Yep, we solved it.
And don’t be like my friend in college who would bring a ziplock bag of whiskey to parties.
No one appreciates that.
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