Philly fought robots, brought spaghetti to CBP, and fixed Reese’s | Weekly Report Card

Uber Eats rolled out delivery robots in Philadelphia and it took about two weeks for someone to kick one over.

Another got sat on. One got tagged with “DESTROY ME PLZ.”

There was never a version of this where that didn’t happen.

This is the same city that destroyed hitchBOT. You don’t drop a fleet of slow-moving, blinking robots onto Philly sidewalks and expect them to just … blend in.

People are going to test it.

And honestly, the robots kind of invite it. They roll right up next to you. They stop. They stare. It feels like they’re asking for interaction, and not always the kind Uber probably had in mind.

Now, it’s just a matter of how long they last.

There’s a dangerous idea floating around Philly right now: What if this is actually a good era for sports?

Don’t panic.

On paper, it checks out. The Philadelphia Eagles have two Super Bowls. The Phillies have made deep playoff runs and reached a World Series. For the last few years, at least one team is doing something meaningful in October — or February.

The numbers back it up, too. By this story’s made-up-but-fair-enough “PhAN” metric, the 2020s stack up as one of the better stretches in Philly sports.

But this is Philly, so instead of enjoying it, we immediately start listing what’s missing. No parade? No, thank you.

So yeah, maybe this is a great era. We’re just not good at appreciating it.

Citizens Bank Park lets you bring your own food inside, and Phillies fans have taken that as a personal challenge.

Sure, you could bring a hoagie like a normal person. Or you could bring a full tray of sushi. A bag of spaghetti. A rotisserie chicken. A birthday cake.

Which people have. Repeatedly.

So we asked people on social media what they’ve brought into the park. The responses were a little concerning.

“I saw a guy eat spaghetti out of a ziploc bag.”

“Brought in a whole ass catered Wawa hoagie tray.”

“I usually stuff as many mashed potatoes in a bag as possible and graze on them all game long.”

There were also some logistical questions.

“So they have a pro spaghetti policy?” one person asked.

And then the truly unhinged entries.

One commenter said they tried to sneak in uncooked mussels taped to their body. Another said security made them prove their fruit salad wasn’t soaked in alcohol by smelling it. Someone else just wrote: “Nice try officer.”

It’s the quiet understanding that if the rules say you can bring something in, people are going to see how far they can take that.

Every once in a while, you come across a story that’s just … nice.

A woman was reunited with her dog more than a decade after he went missing. (A DECADE!). Whole life chapters went by, and then one day, out of nowhere, a call: “We have your boy.”

That’s it. A story about how one Philly dog somehow made it back. Also a reminder to microchip your dog and answer your phone.

For a team that’s spent the last few years running it back, the most interesting thing about the Phillies right now might be the guys who just got here.

Andrew Painter shows up for his debut and looks exactly like the version everyone’s been talking about for three years — eight strikeouts, barely any panic, like it was all simple.

Then Justin Crawford spends his first week in the majors going 7-for-17 and ends it with a walk-off.

Meanwhile, the rest of the lineup is still trying to remember how to hit.

This team has been built around the same core for a while now. The expectation every year is that those guys will carry it. And sometimes they do, but sometimes they very much don’t.

So watching two 22-year-olds show up and immediately look like part of the solution feels exciting, rejuvenating even.

Not in a “save the season” way (I mean, come on, it’s only April.) But in a “oh, this might actually be changing a little” way.

And it’s encouraging.

Remember when everyone got mad that Reese’s was quietly messing with the chocolate?

You have been heard.

After criticism, including from the founder’s own grandson, the Hershey Company says it’s going back to the classic recipe for all Reese’s products.

Hallelujah!

There was never a demand for “slightly less chocolate” peanut butter cups. It was a peanut butter cup and it was perfect. It’s a food you don’t touch. And yet, they did.

Thank goodness, they’re now undoing it. So congratulations to everyone who complained, turns out that helps.

Beach badge prices are up again at the Jersey Shore.

Several towns raised rates for the 2026 season, according to NJ.com, with one jumping $25 for a seasonal pass. Daily prices are creeping up, too … a dollar here, two dollars there. It’s the kind of increases you don’t notice until you’re suddenly paying $12 just to sit on sand.

But the beaches Philly folks actually go to? Still holding the line.

So yes, technically, prices are going up. But not in the places that matter most to Philly.