This Philadelphia man lost a friend in the 9/11 attacks. He now offers hugs to the world in his friend’s memory

Twenty-five years ago on Sept. 7, David Hale Sylvester hung out with his friend Kevin Bowser in their South Philly neighborhood. They didn’t share a parting hug.

Four days later, on Sept. 11, Sylvester would wrestle with that moment as he anxiously waited to hear from Bowser, who worked in the World Trade Center complex.

Bowser perished in the terror attacks on the twin towers that day along with thousands others.

For Sylvester, that missed opportunity to embrace his beloved friend one last time pushed him to create a movement of hope and hugs.

This week, on Friday, as Americans once again gather to remember the victims of 9/11, Sylvester will hold space at the Philadelphia Film Society Center with a Hug Hub, a photo installation featuring strangers embracing each other through tragedy and loss. He will also be there waiting, arms wide open, for anyone who needs a hug.

“It’s a space where people can come as strangers and leave with a hug,” Sylvester said.

As Sylvester mourned his friend, he said he realized he was not alone in his journey of grief.

“Every American felt vulnerable during that time and wanted to connect in some way,” Sylvester said. “I have never seen a time like that where everybody in the country, no matter the race, no matter if you are a Democrat or Republican, we all just needed to be connected.”

Carrying that loss and that last missing hug, Sylvester in 2002 mounted his pain on a bicycle and rode through 50 states, hugging strangers in small towns and big cities.

As the years went by, and despite the pandemic, Sylvester continued his mission, eventually riding his bike through 42 countries, hugging over a million people, he said.

Through it all, he remembered Bowser — who, despite being 10 years his senior — always made time to teach and mentor him.

“Kevin helped me with driving lessons, helped me with school, with sports, with everything,” Sylvester said. “Everybody needs a big brother or a big somebody in their life, and he was my big.”

The last time the pair hung out, Bowser told Sylvester he was “beyond him” and that he was extremely proud of him and the man he had become, Sylvester said. Hearing his friend’s words, Sylvester said that he was overcome with emotions, which prevented him from hugging Bowser one last time.

“I should have hugged Kevin, but I didn’t, so when I did not have the opportunity to do it anymore, that sort of guided me,” Sylvester said.

Sylvester has dedicated his life to offering hugs to strangers and loved ones in the hopes that people feel less alone, he said. That feeling further deepened when another friend, Scott, died by suicide in 2022, on the anniversary of Sept. 11.

“People need to see hope; they need to see goodness in action,” Sylvester said. “Maybe that will stop people from being so violent, maybe that will stop somebody from taking their own life.”

Through his journeys, Sylvester has collected more than 3,000 pictures; 2,000 of those will be featured on Friday at the Philadelphia Film Society Center along with portraits of Bowser and Scott.

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He said he has no idea how many people will attend the free event, between 8:30 a.m. and noon. He just wants to make sure that those in attendance feel they have company as they commemorate a day that marked a before and after in his life and the life of a nation.

“We all experience loss, but it’s what you do with that feeling that counts. How do you say thank you to somebody who is not there anymore? Maybe there is another way, but I choose to hug,” he said.