Just to test out Pennsylvania’s brilliant new booze distribution system for these plague times, my husband called one of the four liquor stores “open” in Center City Philadelphia to take orders between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m.

He called 20 times and got 20 busy signals. On his final call, it rang, rang more, and then switched to a fax machine. According to Fine Wine and Good Spirits’ online COVID-19 information, if someone had answered, we would have been "guided by store staff through products available to purchase at each location.”

After we gave up on the phone, the online order site informed us that they couldn’t take our order as only a limited number may be placed each day. They helpfully add, “We’ve randomized access to enable us to fulfill orders quickly and efficiently. The daily number of orders are limited to expedite processing."

Friends, we are paying people to think up a system like this! Why not simply post maps to New Jersey and Delaware, remind us to buckle our seatbelts and sternly advise us not to open our alcoholic purchases as we contemplate returning to Pennsylvania — no matter how strongly we may be tempted.

Editorial cartoons from this week include: