Sorry, Phillies fans, Dave Dombrowski is not going anywhere for a long, long time. Is that a bad thing?

If you’re a Dave Dombrowski hater, no matter where you were or what you were doing, your blood ran cold Thursday morning. That was when the Phillies president of baseball operations, in his post-season news conference, blithely remarked:

“I plan on being here for a while. I enjoy it. I’m healthy. I have quality people around me.”

In a town whose football team has lost three straight and whose coach blew the last game in the last 8 seconds; whose basketball team hasn’t gotten past the second round of the playoffs in 25 years; and whose hockey team is winless in its first nine games, Dombrowski is, by far, the most despised sports figure.

And he’s here for the long haul.

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During his 61-minute, end-of-season news conference, Dombrowski addressed important issues: Trea Turner’s pending and overdue removal from the shortstop position; his unwillingness to trade from among the starting pitching but his willingness to trade star hitters if those hitters were willing; announcements that Don Mattingly will return as manager and turnover on the coaching staff; and his faith in a minor-league system that he believes is incorrectly rated among the worst in baseball.

But his own future, both long- and short-term, was the most significant issue of the day.

Is that a bad thing? Most Phillies fans, in this moment, would answer, resoundingly, “Yes.”

Dombrowski took the Phillies to the World Series in 2022, his second season, but playoff collapses in the following four seasons authored mainly by Dombrowski’s porous bullpens and choking hitters put a target on his back that even José Alvarado could hit. This year, as the Phillies faded from the top wild-card slot to the final wild-card slot to a three-game wild-card exit in Atlanta, Dombrowski’s star sank lower than ever in every corner of Philadelphia ... except one. It’s the only corner that matters.

It’s the office of John Middleton, the Phillies’ managing partner.

Middleton adores Dombrowski. Last month, following up a report by The Athletic that Dombrowski will soon receive an extension beyond his current deal’s expiration in 2027, I was told by a Phillies source, “Middleton will never fire Dombrowski.”

» READ MORE: Don Mattingly ‘carried the stick.’ That helped make him the best choice as Phillies manager.

A few days later, USA Today reported that the Phillies will offer Dombrowski a lifetime contract, presumably to fill whatever role he desires. Right now, at the age of 70, he still desires to decide who’s on the roster and who’s managing them.

Has he earned it? Not in Philadelphia, no. But elsewhere, Dombrowski won two World Series and went to two more. Middleton adores him; essentially, in Middleton’s eyes, Dombrowski can do no wrong.

In my eyes, Dombrowski’s been about average. He inherited an organization that included Bryce Harper, Zack Wheeler, Cristopher Sánchez, Aaron Nola, J.T. Realmuto, Alec Bohm, and Bryson Stott.

He’s extended some of those deals, signed Kyle Schwarber (twice), enhanced the roster with trades for Jesús Luzardo and Jhoan Duran, and hit on deadline deals for Harrison Bader in 2025 and Luis Arraez in 2026 (both were hurt in the playoffs, though).

He also has consistently failed to replace the right-handed power of Rhys Hoskins, has shown abominable judgment in bullpen construction, and, in seeking optimal offensive output, has inexcusably and illogically devalued defense, especially for a team so heavily invested in big-money starting pitching: He has four $100 million starters.

Further, the contracts of outfielder Nick Castellanos, a defensive liability, Turner, a defensive liability, and starter Taijuan Walker, the ultimate defensive liability, proved utterly indefensible.

Still, as Middleton loves to point out, any president who takes a team to the playoffs five years in a row must be doing something right.

» READ MORE: To Dave Dombrowski, the Phillies’ problems begin an arm’s length away

Counterpoint: In Dombrowski’s case, so far, most of what he’s done right is that he hasn’t messed with what former GM Matt Klentak left him.

Also: If the Phillies are such a quality team with such a bright future, why did Alex Cora, the manager who won Dombrowski the 2018 World Series in Boston, turn down the manager’s job twice in six months? Does he want to win Puerto Rico the Father of the Year this badly?

Furthermore, if Dombrowski was such a hotshot executive, why did the Sox fire him less than 11 months after winning it all?

None of those questions matter. What matters is, John hearts Dave.

I, for one, am happy that Dombrowski is sticking around. That’s mainly because I, for one, don’t care if the Phillies win every game, lose every game, or have every game rained out, as long as they’re interesting while doing it.

Also, I enjoy talking to Dombrowski. He’s smart, intriguing, and his hair has its own aura, as the kids say.

Besides, how can I endorse firing a guy who I’m giving a grade like “C?” You know, average. You fire guys who get D’s and F’s.

That “C” grade means Dombrowski probably does a better job at roster building than, say, I, who am a connoisseur of shortstops (and point guards); a far better job than, say Mike Sielski, whose expertise is limited to hockey centermen; but probably not as good a job as David Murphy, who obsesses on wRC+ and FIP (and who, incongruently, is a quarterback aficionado, too).

» READ MORE: Phillies will keep Trea Turner at shortstop for now: ‘He knows he has to be better’

Also, Dombrowski says crazy stuff.

He fired Rob Thomson and, after being turned down by Cora, the fired former Red Sox manager, he replaced Thomson with Mattingly, the bench coach, as interim manager.

Dombrowski said Thursday that, while he’d followed a baseball mandate and interviewed other candidates, he had never offered the job to anyone but Mattingly. He said this with a straight face ... after both USA Today and the Phillies’ own website reported that, early last week, Cora had turned him down again.

Dombrowski on Thursday also said he actually signed Mattingly to a deal last Saturday, but, with the Eagles playing Sunday (24 hours later) and with Mattingly lacking solid internet service at his vacation lodgings, they delayed leaking the news until Wednesday ... so as to have better Wi-Fi on Thursday for Mattingly’s Zoom news conference.

I am not making any of that up.

Dombrowski also tried to convince listeners that their farm system is better than the experts rank it, which is generally between fifth-to-last and second-to-last. He asserted that major league rookies Andrew Painter, Justin Crawford, and Alex McFarlane should count toward their farm depth, and that they should be credited for using prospects to acquire Luzardo and Duran.

Dombrowski ignored the fact that Painter and Crawford did not factor into the current rankings at all, and he ignored the fact that teams ranked higher than his also traded prospects to improve. For instance, the Dodgers traded three prospects at the deadline to acquire Tarik Skubal from the Tigers, two of them ranked in the top 100 by MLB.com, and still had an elite system at the season’s end. The Brewers also traded prospects for bullpen help at the deadline, and their farm system remains as good or better than the Dodgers’ — whom they just swept out of the NLCS.

The nuttiest thing Dombrowski said in his hourlong State of the Union regarded Turner. By most metrics, Turner was, by far, the worst defensive shortstop in all of baseball. Dombrowski’s solution:

He forced Turner to leave his home in Florida and travel to Philadelphia for a two-hour meeting with Dombrowski, which is like a kid on summer break getting called back to school to go to the principal’s office. What did they talk about for two hours? Some of it concerned Turner’s career-worst offensive performance, which is weird, since that’s kind of the job of the manager and the hitting coach. Some of it concerned Turner’s defense.

Dombrowski warned Turner that Turner would have to audition in spring training if he hopes to retain the shortstop job. Otherwise, he will be moved, most likely to left field, though Turner would prefer staying on the infield, most likely at second base.

» READ MORE: The most imaginative changes the Phillies can make begin with moving Trea Turner off shortstop

What?

WHAT?

So, the plan to return the 33-year-old’s defensive skills from putridity back to their heights, which were mediocrity, is to have him walk on eggshells for 20 spring training games? In which he will play, what, a total of 90 innings — 90 innings that Turner could spend acclimating himself to second base, where he’s started just 79 games, or left field where he’s played zero games?

Assume Turner exits spring training as the shortstop, then he commits four errors in April — again. Do you banish him to the grass or push him to the right side of the infield in the middle of the season? What chance does he have to succeed in that sort of atmosphere?

Of all the harebrained schemes the Phillies have hatched in the past 15 years or so, the plan for Turner is the wildest. Really, this stuff just writes itself. Thanks, Dave.

And, Mr. Middleton: To hell with your fans. For my sake, and for the sake of columnists everywhere, please never fire Dave Dombrowski.

Watch the latest episode

After missing almost the entire season with a back condition, Aidan Miller is off to a hot start in the Arizona Fall League. The 22-year-old infield prospect joined Phillies Extra, The Inquirer’s baseball podcast, to discuss his recovery and why he believes the injury is behind him. Watch here.

You can also subscribe to the podcast version of Phillies Extra on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

Previous episodes: Scott Franzke | Larry Andersen | Matt Klentak | Jeff Francoeur | Luke Murton | Mike Hazen | Tony Gwynn Jr. | Kevin Stocker | Bobby Dickerson | John Middleton