Spinal Tap

, the most influential heavy metal next to

Led Zeppelin

, revolutionized hard rock by adding volume

eleven

on their amplifier dials, thus freeing music from its timid enslavement to volume 10. Now the band, which was featured in

Rob Reiner

's '84 docu,

This Is Spinal Tap

, has been resurrected for one special show. Tap's founding members, guitarist Nigel Tufnel (

Christopher Guest

), singer David St. Hubbins (

Michael McKean

) and bassist Derek Smalls (

Harry Shearer

), will play a pro-environment show July 7 in London (one of seven Live Earth concerts across the globe).

"They're not that environmentally conscious," said Reiner of the boys, who are celebrated for being total cretins. "But they've heard of global warming. Nigel thought it was just because he was wearing too much clothing - that if he just took his jacket off it would be cooler." (It did get cooler!)

Tap, of course, was a faux-band created by Reiner for his mordant satire. But their faux album, released after the film, sold a gazillion copies - and was taken seriously by many metalheads, a telling fact about music fans or something.

Holmes in need of rescue?

Katie Holmes

' husband,

Tom Cruise

, is so controlling, so autocratic, he is suffocating the lovely actress, who is never allowed be without Tom or one of the many "minders" he's assigned to watch over her.

Or so says Us Weekly, Star and the New York Post, which claim Tom's only concern is that Suri's mother be perfect as a mothering machine (rather than a person of her own).

Us Weekly says Katie's being badgered into taking "mommy classes" taught by Scientologists. An unnamed source tells Us, "Katie was quite offended by" the demand.

Meanwhile, Post columnist Cindy Adams says the Cruise Compound in L.A. has been taken over by Katie's "critical mother-in-law," who lays into Katie for her tastes, her parenting skills, her manners, you name it.

And Star says Tom keeps showing up in Shreveport, La., to check up on Katie, who's filming Mad Money. Seems the visits have caused much grief for Katie's costars, Ted Danson, Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah.

Katie's happy home life!

Meanwhile, other media outlets have new sweetie-pie reports about the low-key April 18 birthday party

Tom

and

Katie

threw for

Suri

, who's now a year old. The garden party featured pizza and cupcakes, dragonfly and butterfly piñatas filled with toys and candy, and big smiles!

An unnamed source told People mag, "Suri is walking and talking" and loves the outdoors.

"She was given a gym set for the backyard, a stack of books and some balls and dolls," anon person said. "Tom and Suri kicked the ball around the lawn during the party."

Baldwin: Out, out, out!

Days after the release of an audiotape in which

Alec Baldwin

, 49, goes totally ballistic on his 11-year-old daughter,

Ireland

, the actor has broken up with his high-powered agents, Creative Artists Agency, after a five-year romance. Alec's rep denies this has any connection with the Ireland travesty.

But Alec's next surprise move will raise more than a few eyebrows: Ent&celeb show Extra reports that while he was taping segments of tomorrow's edition of The View, Alec told the cohosts he's sick of TV and wants off his successful show, 30 Rock.

What's next, dude? Joining a monastery in Central America?

Heather dances off

Alas,

Heather Mills'

well-received appearance on

Dancing With The Stars

was not to last:

Paul McCartney's

estranged spouse was kicked off the show Tuesday after a nasty judging round featuring Mills and pro partner

Jonathan Roberts'

performance of the Paso Doble.

"I'd like to thank the Academy," Mills quipped before saying her farewells to the show.

Vanessa ditches 'TRL'

Vanessa Minnillo

is hungry to explore new vistas. Vanessa Minnillo is looking for something to challenge her on every level possible. Vanessa Minnillo told TVGuide.com she has quit her job of four years as a VJ on MTV's

Total Request Live

in order to pursue vistas and challenges.

"I don't want to be 48 going, 'Hey, kids, now it's Sean Preston Spears' video!' " the 26-year-old former Miss Teen USA (1998) said sagely.

Vanessa, who recently moved into Nick Lachey's Manhattan digs, is all zen about "the next chapter" in her professional life: "I have no idea," the multitalented Renaissance babe says. "I don't know if it's going to be with a television show, with movies, with hosting - "

Luke: I the 'razzi!

In a brave, selfless move, top American film actor

Luke Wilson

(

Hoot

,

Bottle Rocket

,

The Royal Tenenbaums

) has broken ranks with the growing cabal of paparazzi-hating celebs that runs Celeb-land under its iron fist. Luke tells Maxim he

loves

gossip: "I'm guilty - I'm just as interested as the next guy to see

Jack Nicholson

eat a cheeseburger . . . There's something titillating about that. It's a drug." (Dude, wait till you see him eat caviar.

Ooh, la, la

!)

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.