THE KILLING. 10 p.m. Sunday, AMC.
I NO LONGER much care who killed Rosie Larsen.
There - I've said it.
For those who've watched AMC's "The Killing," which has just two episodes to go before we presumably learn whodunit, not caring (much) makes me: a) an idiot, incapable of appreciating complex theories regarding potential suspects; b) impatient with prolonged displays of grief (a position advanced by Meghan O'Rourke in a recent piece for Slate); or c) a person who doesn't like being jerked around.
I'm sure there are other choices - hey, that's what email is for - but if you're watching "The Killing," the rest of your time becomes that much more valuable.
And if you've been here from the beginning, seemingly eons ago, you may recall that I rather liked "The Killing," a set-in-Seattle remake of a Danish series about the investigation of a young girl's murder that stars Mireille Enos ("Big Love") as homicide detective Sarah Linden.
I described Enos as "a genuine screen presence," noted a strong performance by Michelle Forbes as Rosie Larsen's grief-stricken mother and suggested that the best reason to watch the show might be to "resensitize those who've seen one too many episodes of 'Criminal Minds' - or overdosed on local news."
That was before I realized "The Killing" was really the slow-TV version of "24" and that the red herrings would become a little more far-fetched each week (the point of no return for me was the discovery that the suspected Muslim "terrorists" had been trying to protect a young girl from genital mutilation).
I know enough of loss to not put a stopwatch on the Larsens' grief, and indeed, the honesty of that expression remains one of the show's strengths. Some weeks, it's the only thing that distracts me from Sarah Linden's sweaters and my conviction that if I'd just started in Week 1, I'd have a Nordic pullover of my own nearly knitted by now.
This past Sunday's episode, a detour in which Sarah changed into something with Lycra and spent most of the hour looking for her missing son, was in some ways the plotting equivalent of "24's" Teri Bauer getting kidnapped (or Kim Bauer encountering that cougar).
But it was also a genuinely suspenseful hour, one in which we learned a few things about our somber detective, and were reminded of how much better "The Killing" might have been if it weren't trying so hard - and so haphazardly - to distract us from what should be its very heart: the loss of Rosie.
Find 'Sarah,' lose mind
She's divorced but lives as "a guest" in her ex's house, her kids get invited to big family parties where she's persona non grata and the nickname she made famous now belongs to a hotter, younger woman: Could Sarah Ferguson's life be any more pathetic? Of course it could.
Because now the oft-disgraced Duchess of York has Oprah Winfrey in her corner.
Oprah's "people," anyway.
Starting Sunday on Winfrey's new network, "Finding Sarah: From Royalty to the Real World" (9 p.m., OWN), takes the red-haired, red-eyed Fergie on a "journey" whose first stops include sessions with "Dr. Phil" McGraw - whose diagnosis is that she is "emotionally bankrupt" - and financial guru Suze Orman, who prefers to describe it as a lack of "self-worth" (and whose own self-worth is so high she brags about having "a crush" on herself).
The duchess' former in-laws likely won't be amused by the supportive presence of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in a show that devotes considerable time to their mother's most recent scandal, in which she was caught agreeing to sell access to Prince Andrew for a half-million pounds (about $822,300).
Six episodes doesn't seem like nearly enough to solve a problem like "Sarah," but one was enough to convince me it might be worth taking the high road to avoid this train wreck altogether.
Ex-'Profiler' is 'Protector'
Long before Ally Walker played a homicidal FBI agent on FX's "Sons of Anarchy," she was Dr. Samantha Waters, the extremely intuitive title character on NBC's "Profiler."
Starting Sunday, she's "The Protector" (10 p.m., Lifetime) in a series in which she plays a Los Angeles homicide detective named Gloria Sheppard who also plays her hunches but whose distinguishing characteristic - if you're looking to tell her apart from every other homicide detective on TV - is that she's a divorced mom who shares a house with her brother (Chris Payne Gilbert).
Gloria tends to be what "Ally McBeal's" Elaine would have called "snappish," and it's worth tuning in for the first few minutes, of Sunday's premiere to hear what she has to say to a neighbor who hopes she'll help find a missing garden gnome.
Beyond that, you're on your own. Like A&E's "The Glades" - and nearly every show on USA - "The Protector" is a blue-sky procedural, as easy on the brain as it is on the eyes, with just enough of a tug at the heart to remind you you're watching Lifetime. *
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