We’ve predicted the outcome of every Eagles game this season. It’ll be a wild ride.

Now that the preseason has ended and the 53-man roster has been set — at least until Howie Roseman trades for another cornerback — it’s time for the big moment. It’s time to reveal the outcome of every Eagles game during the 2025 regular season.

Week 1: During NBC’s pregame show, Chris Simms asserts that the Eagles will never win anything as long as Jalen Hurts is their quarterback. During his team’s Super Bowl banner unveiling, Eagles chairman Jeffrey Lurie shouts that he “can’t wait to tear the roof off this place. … Oops, getting ahead of myself.” Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and linebacker Micah Parsons nod at each other while in line for the men’s room. Jones then calls a press conference to announce that, with his head-bob, Parsons has formally agreed to a five-year contract extension “because that’s how men do things.” Eagles 34, Cowboys 14.

Week 2: The Kansas City Chiefs hold a bridal shower for Taylor Swift at halftime. Patrick Mahomes gives her a Keurig machine. Andy Reid gives her a barbecue cookbook. Nolan Smith sacks all three of them at the same time. Eagles 31, Chiefs 21.

Week 3: Hurts throws for just 77 net yards against a ferocious Los Angeles Rams defense. A.J. Brown has just one reception and is seen standing on the Eagles’ sideline, reading Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. “I’d like to see some passes come screaming across the sky toward me,” he says. Rams 17, Eagles 6.

Week 4: Amid three-digit temperatures in Tampa, Fla., Baker Mayfield completes 27 consecutive passes, all of them to receivers covered by Kelee Ringo. Buccaneers 35, Eagles 10.

» READ MORE: Source: Rookie QB Kyle McCord stays with the Eagles, signs with the practice squad

Week 5: After the Eagles squeak out a victory over the Denver Broncos, coach Nick Sirianni faces questions about his team’s ragged 3-2 start. He compares the Eagles to a tomato garden in a greenhouse. “We like it hot,” he says. “The hotter the heat, the more our vines grow and become intertwined and pull us together. That’s what separates us from the cucumbers and the lettuce.” Before his postgame press conference, Hurts sits silently at his locker, eating a Cobb salad. Eagles 23, Broncos 20.

Week 6: At MetLife Stadium, Saquon Barkley rushes for 179 yards and three touchdowns against his former team, then is asked about reports that President Donald Trump will name him U.S. ambassador to Sweden. “I’m shocked and surprised and very busy,” Barkley says. The Giants bench Russell Wilson and replace him with rookie Jaxson Dart, who, in his NFL debut, throws two interceptions, both of which Quinyon Mitchell returns for touchdowns. The New York Post calls Dart “the Giants’ best quarterback since Eli Manning.” Eagles 42, Giants 13.

Week 7: The Eagles return to U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, the site of their victory in Super Bowl LII. Jalen Carter knocks Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy out of the game late in the fourth quarter. Carson Wentz replaces McCarthy, then leads the Vikings on a 50-yard touchdown drive against the Eagles’ second-team defense. “This is the greatest moment of my career in this place,” he says. Eagles 38, Vikings 20.

Week 8: The Giants put 10 men in the box to try to stop Barkley. He racks up 238 yards of total offense. Dart is sacked six times and throws three interceptions. The Post endorses him for mayor of New York. Eagles 49, Giants 6.

Week 9: During the Eagles’ bye week, ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports that momentum again is growing to ban the Tush Push, even though the Eagles haven’t run the play all season. “Sources tell me,” Schefter says, “that commissioner Roger Goodell and several owners are still concerned about the aesthetic appeal of tushes around the league.”

Week 10: On Monday Night Football against the Packers at Lambeau Field, the Eagles run the Tush Push 12 times. Hurts gains 21 yards on those plays and scores four touchdowns. Former Green Bay team president Mark Murphy is seen stress-eating a tub of cheese curds. Eagles 28, Packers 21.

Week 11: The Detroit Lions, who had the best record in the NFC last season, come to the Linc for a big Sunday Night Football matchup. But quarterback Jared Goff, who finished 15th in the NFL’s Top 100 Players poll, commits four turnovers, one for each spot on the list separating him from Hurts. Eagles 27, Lions 22.

Week 12: Brown torches the Dallas secondary for 10 catches, 221 yards, and two TDs at AT&T Stadium. Still out of the lineup because of his contract dispute, Parsons moseys over to the Eagles’ sideline and begins paging through Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy. Outside the Cowboys locker room, Jones fires Brian Schottenheimer, names himself head coach, and immediately signs Parsons to a seven-year contract with $400 million in guaranteed money and a no-trade clause. Eagles 35, Cowboys 17.

Week 13: On Black Friday against the Chicago Bears, Hurts manages just 89 passing yards, and several media members interrogate him about his refusal to throw the ball over the middle of the field. “That’s not what you want to see,” he says afterward, “but I’ll see what I want to see when I contemplate the meaning of what I’m looking for.” One reporter listens carefully to Hurts’ answer, tries to make sense of it, then passes out. Eagles 24, Bears 23.

Week 14: Three days before the Eagles play the Chargers in Los Angeles, ESPN’s First Take debates this question: If Justin Herbert were on the Eagles, would he have four Super Bowls by now or five? Hurts throws for 349 yards and two touchdowns. Before taking any postgame questions, he holds up his right hand, points down to the floor, and commands everyone in the room to “kneel before Zod.” Eagles 37, Chargers 27.

Week 15: Chip Kelly, now the Las Vegas Raiders’ offensive coordinator, refuses all interview requests before his return to Philadelphia. But on game day, The Inquirer’s Jeff McLane chases Kelly down a tunnel at the Linc and shouts a question at him. Kelly shouts back: “I’m gonna burn your boat, McLane.” Eagles 30, Raiders 16.

» READ MORE: Howie Roseman balances ‘defend[ing] our title’ and avoiding a 2018 repeat as Eagles set 53-man roster

Week 16: In a much-hyped rematch of last season’s NFC championship game, the Eagles have no answer for Commanders quarterback Jayden Daniels, who cements his candidacy as the league’s MVP by leading Washington on a 21-point fourth-quarter comeback. First Take’s producers begin outlining a Monday morning segment: Were the Eagles ever better than the Commanders? In an executive box at Northwest Stadium, Josh Harris high-fives Goodell, Joel Embiid, and Paul George. Commanders 31, Eagles 30.

Week 17: Eagles vs. Bills at 4: 25 p.m. on Dec. 28. In the Delaware Valley, a half-inch of Christmas Day snowfall has forced every local municipality to declare a state of emergency and every school to cancel classes until May 1. In Orchard Park, N.Y., it’s minus-15 degrees, and the Eagles are forced to declare six starters inactive when the players’ ears fall off as they walk from the team bus into the visitors’ locker room. Bills 20, Eagles 7.

Week 18: In a revenge game against the Commanders, the Eagles get 161 rushing yards from Barkley and seven sacks from their defense. They trounce Washington, finish 13-4, and become the first NFC East team in more than 20 years to win back-to-back division titles. Several D.C.-area sports-talk hosts and a dozen members of Congress weep openly. Eagles 28, Commanders 10.