If there’s one sports talker who knows how to troll the Cowboys, it’s Stephen A. Smith.
On Monday, the well-paid ESPN host and former Inquirer reporter once again donned a cowboy hat and spent the bulk of his two-hour show gloating over the Eagles’ win against Dallas on Sunday.
“The Cowboys found a way to mess up your Christmas,” a giddy Smith said in a southern accent as he laughed at Dallas’ misfortune while chomping on a fake cigar.
Throughout Monday’s episode of First Take, Smith sat with a silver box he said was a Christmas gift to Cowboys fans. As the show was about to end, Smith finally unwrapped the gift, culminating two hours of trolling.
“What’s in here? Absolutely nothing! No division crown. No playoff victory. No Super Bowl. Absolutely, positively nothing for Dallas Cowboys fans!” Smith revealed. “Because that’s what you deserve!”
"I wish I had a cap so I could tip it to you,” Smith’s Carson-Wentz-hating co-host Max Kellerman said.
Smith wasn’t finished with Cowboys fans.
“All this bloviating — ‘You know we gonna win the Super Bowl next year, right?’ — keep saying that to me … you been saying it for 24 years, hasn’t worked. Keep it going,” Smith said. “You pathetic Cowboys fans everywhere. Merry Christmas.”
Despite the gloating, the Eagles haven’t won the NFC East yet. The Birds have to either defeat a decent-looking New York Giants team on Sunday at MetLife Stadium, or the Cowboys have to lose at home against the Washington Redskins. Both games will now kickoff at 4:25 p.m. after being flexed by the NFL.
Either way, Smith isn’t concerned.
“The Cowboys ain’t going to the damn playoffs. That’s over,” Smith said. “Now how that’s gonna happen, you pick your poison.”
Missing from Monday’s First Take was Hall of Famer Michael Irvin, who has made several notable (and sweaty) appearances on the show defending the Cowboys. On Sunday, Irvin wore a green suit on the NFL Network in a failed attempt to jinx the Eagles.
“There’s an APB out for ‘The Playmaker,’ Michael Irvin. The cops are looking for Michael Irvin. I can’t find him! I’ve asked for police assistance,” Smith joked.
Meanwhile, Smith’s former co-host Skip Bayless tried to milk his Cowboys fandom by once again throwing away his Ezekiel Elliott jersey (something Elliott’s mom has criticized the host for). Instead, the internet chose to mock the FS1 host over the awkward placement of his microwave.