Court saga is disgraceful and ongoing

The Supreme Disgrace: A Sequel

No Stars.

Running Time: Who knows?

Rated NC-17 for nudity, explicit sex, profanity, juvenile conduct by adults.

Playing at governmental offices throughout the state.

By Phil Goldsmith

The Supremes - the commonwealth's highest court, not the talented musical group - have just released their most recent sequel to "The Supreme Disgrace," first produced in 1978.

For those who don't remember the original, "The Supreme Disgrace" was an editorial investigation of the state Supreme Court by the Inquirer's Editorial Board. Among other findings, the series disclosed that the court had a huge backlog of cases - some that lingered for years; its own slush funds; unaudited financial records; and secret, powerful rule-making authority.

In the most recent sequel - the third since the original performance - the cast of characters has changed, as it has in each sequel. But once again the court manages to produce another unique and unbelievable story that, like the others, falls within the horror genre.

While the '78 "Supreme Disgrace" focused on mundane issues like delayed justice, the sequels have taken on juicier, more adult themes, like sex, drugs, and political corruption.

Sequel one - "Drug Court" - starred Justice Rolf Larsen, a young outspoken jurist from Pittsburgh, known as a "rebel with robes," who locked horns with his colleagues, including Justice Robert N.C. Nix of Philadelphia, who was poised to become the court's first African American chief justice. Larsen schemed to deny Nix the court's top job, but failed to thwart his retention. Larsen then publicly accused another justice of trying to run him down in a car near the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia.

But the plot in the long-running 1990s sequel takes a quick turn when a grand jury investigation reveals that Larsen had been receiving illegally obtained prescription drugs to treat his depression and anxiety. It ends with Larsen being found guilty of "infamous" crimes, impeached, and removed from office.

The next sequel - "A Family Affair" - broke new ground by casting a female justice, Joan Orie Melvin, in a starring role. Costarring were her sisters State Sen. Jane Orie and Janine Orie, who worked on Jane's staff. The Ories were members of a prominent Western Pennsylvania Republican family, which was in a political blood feud with the powerful and Democratic Zappala family. Unfortunately for the Ories, the Allegheny County district attorney was Stephen Zappala Jr., who accused the sisters of using judicial and legislative staff to elect the justice to the bench.

All three sisters were found guilty, and Joan and Jane were forced to leave office in disgrace. Ex-Justice Orie was ordered to pen handwritten letters of apology to every judge in the state, enclosing a picture of herself in handcuffs.

An appeals court left the handcuff requirement on the cutting-room floor. The editing was derided by critics, who accused the court of favoring one of its own, but was applauded by her supporters, who insisted it would be too difficult for her to write the apology letters handcuffed.

It's hard to believe those sequels could be topped. After all, how can you beat drugs, corruption, and political intrigue? Well, how about porn?

Not surprisingly, the latest sequel is a blockbuster. Critics marvel at the Supreme Court's Spielberg-like ability to keep outdoing itself. In fact, Gov. Corbett, despite being busy trying to keep his job, insisted on having his own private viewing. Even the media put in special requests for a peek.

The main characters of the latest sequel - "The Long and Short Of It" - are a former cop and a former Marine who was wounded in Vietnam. As justices, they had already been engaged in a long-running feud. Things take a turn when Kathleen Kane, the state's first female attorney general, reveals that a number of top officials have been watching and sharing porn.

Evidence points to Justice Seamus McCaffery, the former cop and a favorite of the Philadelphia political machine, as a major culprit, having sent or received hundreds of sexually explicit e-mails. His archenemy, Chief Justice Ron Castille, immediately calls for McCaffery's removal, comparing his colleague to a "sociopath."

A number of state officials play supporting roles, with some resigning and others claiming they neither opened nor distributed porn e-mails. This is a corollary of the infamous Bill "I didn't inhale" Clinton defense.

The plot thickened Monday, with McCaffery being temporarily tossed from the bench to "protect the integrity of the court" - one of the few laugh lines in this saga. That's like trying to protect Madonna's virginity, a couple decades late.

I will resist moralizing about the obvious need to end the corruptive practice of partisan elections for our highest court. But I will tell you that there is undoubtedly another sequel in the works, with the working title of "Oy Vey, Oy Vey, This Supreme Court Is an Even Bigger Disgrace."