Column on rude remark at H.S. game brings apology
Positive, compassionate and thoughtful discourse won late Wednesday night. Victories of this nature don't seem to happen often nowadays so this one, I think, we should celebrate.
Positive, compassionate and thoughtful discourse won late Wednesday night. Victories of this nature don't seem to happen often nowadays so this one, I think, we should celebrate.
In response to a column about language, dignity and respect, I received - among various others - an email from a person who identified themselves, by name, as the person referenced in the story.
Last Friday, as I walked into Coach McNelly Stadium to cover host Spring-Ford and rival Perkiomen Valley in football, a person who had been saying "fifty-fifty" to sell raffle tickets said "fiddy-fiddy" to me as I approached. This continued as I walked away until I heard the sales pitch return to "fifty-fifty" for those entering the stadium behind me.
Wednesday, a moving, empathetic and "heartfelt apology" was issued, accountability accepted, gratitude expressed and an offer to meet in person extended.
"I intend to use this as an opportunity for others to learn from my mistake," the email reads. "Having open dialogue is key to helping people understand how their words or actions impact others, even if those words or actions were unintentional."
The thoughtfulness of that sentiment, along with other details of the email that will remain private, made it easy to accept the apology and agree to meet and discuss the situation in person.
Just to make sure the email wasn't a hoax, I did Google the person's name and found a Facebook page bearing the same name. The page appears to show a history of love, compassion and family.
As expected, however, I did receive several emails that I believe lacked insight, empathy and the willingness to subscribe to either.
The vast majority of responses were positive. Many expressed gratitude for the story, the manner in which it was presented and the willingness to publish it. Several parents and teachers even planned to share, or had already shared, the story with their respective children and students.
Others believed I should "grow up," questioned why I wasn't strong enough to get over the perceived slight and said, "if that's your biggest problem consider yourself blessed."
Still others devolved into lectures about what - some emailers believe - people of color have done to make stereotyping acceptable, offered a perceived explanation of the N-word when it ends in "a" as opposed to "er," referenced "African (sic) gang bangers" in Chicago and expressed incredulity: "It's hard to believe that you are going to experience overt racism on the hardscrabble streets of Collegeville."
(It's important to point out that the word "racism" purposefully never appeared in the column.)
One emailer expressed doubt that I've been called the N-word more times than I care to remember.
First, once is more times than I care to remember. Second, I was in third grade the first time that epithet was hurled my way. The word, and its many iterations, have been been tossed at me several times in the decades that have passed. And, it's because I've been strong enough to overcome them that you are reading these words today.
Again, with every fiber of my being, I find myself trying not to reach for snark, anger and retribution.
Instead, my hope is that at least one of the misinformed few will revisit the previous article, divorce himself of his preexisting notions about race and truly absorb the words.
Positive, compassionate and thoughtful discourse can win. Victories of this nature don't happen often so let's celebrate this one.
And judging from the empathetic response from the original person in question, and our impending meeting, there is hope.
@AceCarterINQ
