Sideshow | Does Imus have a new gig?

Somewhere, in the obscure scriptures of an ancient, long-lost people, there's an old prophecy no one has ever been able to decipher - until now.

"Imus shall return," it says.

And so he shall, according to the New York Post. The schlock jock, who was sacked six months ago by CBS Radio for saying stupid, nasty, racist things about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, will be back beaming his brilliant, inspiring ideas over the airwaves in early December, this time on WABC Radio. The Post says an insider has confirmed the deal, which will give Imus $5 mil to $8 mil a year.

So will Imus push out ABC's current morning ratings winner, the Curtis and Kuby show? Look for "a maelstrom of controversy," the Post said.

Beating out such favorites as

Ian McEwan

's

On Chesil Beach

, Irish novelist

Anne Enright

won Britain's Man Booker prize yesterday for

The Gathering

, a portrait of a troubled family. One British bookmaker had placed 20-1 odds against a win by Enright, who is the second Irish writer in three years to win the $100,000 prize. Enright's novel, an epic set in England and Ireland, is a drama about relationships and personal breakdowns. People looking for a cheery read, Enright said, should not pick up her book.

Madonna

yesterday confirmed she is leaving Warner Music Group for Live Nation in an all-encompassing deal that will give the company a chunk of the Postmodern Priestess' CDs, tours, films, merchandising and all other creations (except for the kids). Reportedly, M.'s take is $120 mil over 10 years. The Kaballistic Creator used a graduate school word to explain: "The paradigm in the music business has shifted and as an artist and a business woman, I have to move with that shift." Ms. Ciccone then revealed that she is an Infinite Being: "the way that my music can reach my fans is unlimited."

Hip-hop lady

Foxy Brown

(born

Inga Marchand

), who last week twice refused to appear in court to be arraigned on assault charges, yesterday showed up at the state Supreme Court in Brooklyn.

Foxy, 28, who is already serving a year at Rikers Island in New York for violating probation, pleaded not guilty for her part in a July 30 incident, during which she allegedly did a Naomi Campbell and lobbed a cell phone at her neighbor, Arlene Raymond, 25, because Arlene had complained that Foxy's car stereo was too loud. Foxy's probation stems from her conviction in the '04 fight she had with manicurists in a nail salon.

She's due back in court on Dec. 17.

Britney Spears

dutifully showed up at the Van Nuys police station in Lalaland Monday night to be booked on the misdemeanor charges of hit-and-run, causing property damage and driving without a valid California driver's license for the Aug. 6 incident during which she lightly tapped a parked silver Mercedes-Benz with her black Benz.

And she proved that even a simple booking can turn into a life-altering, transcendent experience. "It was amazing," Brit told reporters about her time in the police station and jail. "They were nice, they were really nice." She'll be arraigned Oct. 25.

I've loved her in good times and in bad; I even stayed with her through endless reruns.

But I guess I'm just not good enough. Jorja Fox is leaving CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

"There are all these things I want to do," Jorja, 39, told Entertainment Weekly's Online edition (EW.com). "Some are personal. Some are professional. And I really need to do some of them before I get too old."

The New York County D.A.'s Office yesterday said

Sean "P.Diddy" Combs

, our era's very own Horatio Alger, is being investigated in relation to an alleged assault at a Manhattan nightclub early Saturday morning. One

Steven Acevedo

, 31, claims His Diddyness punched him twice in the face during a jousting match over a fair maiden. But Diddy's people say there was no assault, merely a friendly "disagreement among acquaintances." Meanwhile, TMZ.com reports the two men have been buds for 13 years and that they were happy as clams when they broke bread together Monday night.

Love always wins out.

TMZ also reports that the American Lung Association has chosen none other than

Jennifer Garner

- who withstood season after season of karate chops from bad guys on

Alias

, not to mention hubby

Ben Affleck

as her daily conversation partner - as its "Face of Influenza"! (How many millions of kids dream that one day they'd be

that

face?!)

Jen has filmed public-service ads that aim to raise awareness about the flu and encourage the populace to be immunized against it.

The Tonight Show

host

Jay Leno

, who had previously signed off on NBC's plans to put him out to pasture (or is he headed for the glue factory?) in 2009, is on the verge of rebellion, the L.A. Times reports.

Unnamed insiders say Jay, who'll barely be 59 in '09, doesn't want to give up the show to his heir, Conan O'Brien. At least, not yet.

Meanwhile, NBC suit Marc Graboff goes crazy with negative modifiers, telling the Times that NBC "has no plans to not turn over TV's top-rated late-night show to O'Brien."

Finally, an excuse for loser single guys to check out Victoria's Secret:

The Spice Girls

will sell their upcoming greatest-hits record exclusively at that bastion of transgressive, cutting-edge sexuality.

A paradigm change is afoot in the Broadway musical! (Or not.)

American Idol finalist Clay Aiken will join the cast of Monty Python's Spamalot on Jan. 18, in the role of that most wussy Medieval Knight of all, Sir Robin.

"The chance to work with legendary creative minds like Mike Nichols and Eric Idle is, on its own, a reason to jump at this opportunity," Aiken said.

The show is directed by Nichols and the book written by Python alum Idle.