Dear Amy:

My husband's daughter from his previous marriage, Kerry, is getting married in two months. Kerry's mother, who walked out on the family, also is remarried. Kerry has asked her dad to walk her down the aisle, but I am not invited to the wedding.

Because I am not to be included, he has declined. Kerry also has not invited her stepfather. Her father believes this is to justify my not being invited. His ex seems to have a lot of trouble moving on with her life.

I am grateful that my husband is standing on principle, but I am torn. I believe that his daughter should be able to have both parents and their spouses present.

My husband is not happy about this, but he is steadfast in his choice to not attend this wedding without me.

Should I be the "bigger person" and encourage him to go to the wedding alone?

- Not Sloppy Seconds

Dear Seconds:

I understand your desire to be the bigger person here. However, Kerry should watch her father's example before she walks down the aisle. He is demonstrating what it means to be married.

When you are married, you don't leave your spouse home. You celebrate important milestones with your partner by your side. A marriage is a public acknowledgment that you and your spouse are in a family together. Others should honor this commitment.

Kerry is violating a basic rule of etiquette and demonstrating poor judgment in not including her parents' spouses in her wedding. Your husband has made up his mind, and unless he can persuade his daughter to grow up and be inclusive, I agree with him that he should stay home.

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