Give the gift of dad jokes this Father’s Day. Here are just a few.
What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
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Why buy your father a handsome new shirt or the perfect new gadget this Father’s Day when you can give him a smile? Maybe one of these comedic refrains will be the device that suits his fancy.
I like telling Dad jokes … sometimes he laughs.
When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.
What kind of dog does a magician have? A Labracadabrador!
What did the mama cow say to the calf? It’s pasture bedtime!
What do you call an illegally parked frog in Philly? Toad!
I told my sister she drew on her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish? An oyster bunny!
What did the duck say after she bought ChapStick? Put it on my bill!
I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
RIP boiled water — you will be mist.
What do Broad Street sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t too bad, either.
What do you call cheese at the Italian Market that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”
Can February March? No, but April May.
Two sheep walk into a — baaa.
What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? “Ruff!”
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
I’m reading a book about antigravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I’m writing a book about glue. I’m stuck on the first chapter.
What did the baker say when she won an award? “It was a piece of cake.”
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
How was the handsome runner described? “Dashing.”
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? He was shocked!
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine? A slowpoke!
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What fish only swims at night? Starfish!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked!
Compiled from various sources.