David: This week for our Idol Chat we are working without a net. Sublime Inquirer writer Amy Rosenberg is joining us from a remote location in University City. Amy, if you can read this, what did you make of last night?
Amy: I don't know, Hilty, I just don't know...the red bunting, you just don't want to see that in your logo, the somber facial hair, the whole Emo-idol Nation thing, what happened to my guilty pleasure? where is the fun in a clear conscience pleasure? On the up side, LaKisha is a train wreck...
David:: I found that intolerable. But apparently Ryan is not going to shave until poverty and hunger have been stamped out.
Amy: And why the cap at $5 million? that's chump change. And please, "This could be the most important call you'll ever make?" I dug the parts from Africa, but what was with Paula in the Winnebago?
David:: I thought the cluelessness of Simon was priceless. How could this food bank exist less than 20 minutes from my palatial estate?
Amy: Actually, Hilty, I found Simon kind of sincere in Africa. I thought, well, he's a truth teller, and it works here as well. Ryan was tougher to take. But then Simon went all soft in his judging. Ridiculous! Thought Paula was kind of annoyed with the whole event...
David:: Good point. But I thought it curious that they stressed malaria as the problem in Africa but were determined not to mention AIDS, which is ravaging the continent. Guess that's not a happy charity. Or else, Coca Cola, Ford, AT&T, Fox and the "wonderful folks at Con Agra" asked not to be linked.
Amy: Yeah, the whole corporate sponsor thing now elevated to Good Charitable works thing really annoyed me. Why don't they pledge to give some of their commercial budget to charity? Everything was like beatified and goodly...speaking of which, do you think Chris is gaining some of his weight back?
David:: I hadn't noticed he was losing weight. But I did think he sounded good last night. He's the only one of the finalists I can bear to listen to (and even that in small doses).
Amy: He talked earlier about how he used to be pudgy, pre-Idol..i think it's creeping back. I didn't love his song, but Eric Clapton is a tough one to take on. I still like Blake, I thought he was better than the judges said, thought Imagine worked, actually.
David:: Wow, you did? I thought that was an abomination. Sounded miore like Yoko than John Lennon. And when he strained for those high notes, I thought House had started early and someone was experiencing excruciating symptoms.
Amy: You hated it Hilty, that's OK. I don't quite get the Blake thing, but it works for me..I felt like, I know I'm supposed to find this appalling, but I'm always kind of into the Blake performances. No eye rolling..What did you think of Phil? Thought he was scary-man last night, determined to be on the edge of tears...
David:: I say he's a bad Michael Bolton knockoff and he must be stopped!!
Amy: Yea, Phil is a weird one, but the judges have suddenly found love for him...They've totally turned on LaKisha, who made a big mistake last night. I think she's gone tonight, if they ever get around to voting. Will they actually eliminate anyone tonight, given their mood?
David:: A good question. Maybe they all get immunity and a new Ford. LaKisha dserves to go. She looked like Ursula from The Little Mermaid last night. There's no question the Idol judges are trying to steer their out of control show toward an acceptable ending.
Amy: Yes, definitely an Ursula thing happening. Blake's thing is, he's got some of the parts of being cool, the song choices, the beat boxing, but it all doesn't always add up. There's something still square about him, and not just the shape of his head...Looks like Robin Williams...
Beachbum: What's the "shock" Ryan talking about that's suppose to happen tonight?
Amy: He shaves?
David: I assume it's either Saint Bono making an appearance tonight in advance of his mentoring gig next week or the "special" duet between Celine Dion and Elvis. Spare us, Lord!
Amy: I'm still struggling with the whole thing, Hilty. I mean, good for them, why not turn it into something positive. But I find it annoying that all these stars suddenly want in on Idol to gain access to Massive Idol Audience...And sanctimony just does not work on Ryan Seacrest. I think Bono sings a new song or something, am I right?
David: Why not? Have to promote the product. We didn't mention Melinda or Jordin. What did you think of them?
Amy: Melinda has bored me from the start. I never bought the whole who me? thing. I just don't get her. Jordin brought the house down with that Carousel song, but it's 60 years old, Hilty...My dad used to sing me that song as a kid, so I felt manipulated seven different ways...
David: Now you're getting into the Idol spirit. Your prediction for tonight's extravaganza?
Amy: I think LaKisha's going, which is a bit of bombshell overall, since she was everybody's favorite. But it's just not working for her anymore. Fantasia is sacred, man...
David: Thank you for your rancid insights, Amy. Please come back again. We now return you to your regular programming.