Another night; another rule twist on another network reality competition show. Just don't muck around with Wheel of Fortune, okay?
The evening started out muy caliente with Maria Menounos and partner Derek Hough reprising their much talked about canary-yellow salsa from Monday night. Yes, Derek's shirt came off, but this time instead of exchanging a sizzling kiss at the end, they ran over and wasted those luscious lips on Carrie Ann and Bruno. (I'll let you figure out who kissed whom.)
Poor Len. Always the eunuch.
Then for the first time ever (drumroll, please) we had a Dance Duel (shocked inhale). The two bottom duos – Jaleel & Kym and Gavin & Karina -- were forced to take the floor simultaneously to dance a cha cha. Loser go home. The envelope please.
Yes, I'm afraid it was unanimous. I like Gavin DeGraw but you're kind of asking for it when you have more pork pie hats than Imelda Marcos has shoes. And you insist on wearing them all.
Loved DeGraw's parting statements. "So far it's been amazing." Dude, so far? You do realize you just got the boot? It's over.
Then he talked about how nice it's been to be contacted by relatives from all over the country. I'm guessing he heard from Quick Draw.
Whoops, sorry. I'm thinking of Quick Draw McGraw, who is of course a distant cousin of Dr, Phil and no relation at all to Porkpie DeGraw.