(A brief chat twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)
JB: You know, of course, of my life-long affection for the annual Pennsylvania Farm Show, the 97th of which is scheduled January 5-12 in Harrisburg.
BE: Of course! The high-fat food, the animals, the life-size butter sculpture, the square dances, the tractor pulls, the sheep-to-shawl competition and my recommended addition – the hog-to-BLT contest.
JB: Exactly so. Well, this year there's a new event that I can't wait another month to point out.
BE: Do tell.
JB: "Cow Patty Bingo!"
BE: I'm half-afraid to ask.
JB: Two cows walk into the large arena on a giant bingo card. Players buy bingo squares for $25 a-pop.
BE: I'm not sure I like where this is headed.
JB: Whichever squares the cows, described as "bovine beauties," plop on -- as in, that's right, drop a cow patty -- are winners!
BE: You are making this up.
JB: I am not making this up. Here's the mention in Wednesday's press notice. And I called the Department of Agriculture to confirm the event and check the details. In fact, here's what the game looks like.
BE: Are the cows, um, primed to poop?
JB: Ag's Nicole Bucher says not, adding that the plan is to "let nature take its course."
BE: And the money?
JB: Goes to scholarships for students involved in the Farm Show, which is nice. But there's one aspect of the event that seems a tad cruel.
BE: And that is?
JB: Prizes for winners include beef and Weber grills.
BE: OUCH! So the "bovine beauties" become burgers?
JB: All intended, as Bucher put it, to be "in keeping with the theme."
BE: Ah, the "patty" theme. Cow patty. Beef patty. I get it.
JB: Seeya at the event. It's BYOS: bring your own spatula.