HERE, provided with absolutely no context, is a sampling of some on-the-record quotes Michael Chitwood has given in his six years as superintendent of the Upper Darby Township Police Department.
* "There's ladies around or I'd tell you where my anatomy is right now."
* "On one side, you got prostitution; on the other side, you got cats in the freezer."
* "It's the United Nations of drug trafficking."
* "They're doing this double-dealing shuck-and-jive stuff."
* "These guys are fairly sophisticated even though they're bums."
* "It just goes to show you: When a bullet leaves a gun, you don't know where it's going to wind up."
* "Our community is becoming like Baghdad."
* "All the politicians that made these stupid laws, they should come out here and be victimized to see these guys have to be treated as adults."
* "He has more tattoos than grass on a lawn."
* "He decided to take a bus up and rekindle his old flame. Instead of taking her to dinner, he stabs her."
* "We couldn't process him because he's sitting in the cell masturbating. He wouldn't stop so we had to wait till later to clean him up."
* "My first reaction was 'What the f---!'"
* "At one point in time, they were fondling one another in the pew to the point where a couple of the churchgoers had to tell them to stop acting like morons."
* "Any of these bars, I don't care what community you are in; if they are a toilet, eventually they overflow."
* "They were looking for a problem. Well, both are still in jail, so Merry Christmas to them."