One Last Thing: Where streets are covered with strange Democrats

DENVER - Political conventions aren't as glamorous as you might think.

On TV, the conventions are all about the slick packaging of beautiful people. But on the streets outside the convention hall, the gathering looks an awful lot like the creature cantina scene from Star Wars - you know, the bar on Mos Eisley where all the freaky aliens drink and argue and get into fights.

This year's event in Denver is packed with even more aliens than usual. There's the impeachment crowd, wandering the city's streets with dueling placards.

Some call on Congress to "Impeach Bush." Others urge that we "Impeach Cheney First." There are the Code Pink activists, who meandered through the popular 16th Street Market over the weekend with giant, carnival-style puppets, which are somehow supposed to symbolize a call for world peace.

Then there are the hard-core protesters. Denver's Gumm Mixed Martial Arts Gym has been offering self-defense training to radical groups such as DNC Disruption '08.

The radicals believe they need to protect themselves from the police because the city recently converted a warehouse on the far end of town to serve as a processing facility for people who get themselves arrested this week.

Protesters actually showed up a week before the convention to protest the jail they might get sent to for later protesting. They've dubbed the facility "Gitmo on the Platte."

But here's the really freaky part: These groups are all made up of people who believe that Barack Obama's Democratic Party - which wants to raise taxes, ensure abortion on demand, create a crippling carbon cap-and-trade regime, commence a rapid pullout from Iraq, and abandon U.S. allies from Israel to Georgia - isn't liberal enough.

Of course, like all towns that host conventions, the Mile High City is trying to put its best foot forward. To that end, a panel of local officials passed a nonbinding resolution urging police to "refrain from arresting or citing pot smokers during the convention."

They know their audience.

To be extra hospitable, the city is trying to keep its socially conscious, pot-smoking guests from having to encounter any of Denver's great unwashed.

Local groups have given away movie and zoo tickets to the city's homeless for the week - as well as bus passes. For any homeless who decline to make themselves scarce, a downtown salon is giving free haircuts and shaves to the indigent. Imagine the outcry if Republicans tried this sort of thing.

Being a Democrat means never having to feel embarrassed. Every spare bit of convention paraphernalia and signage here is hectoring people about being "green."

Yet convention officials are zipping around town in big, black SUVs. Don't worry, though, the Democrats assure us, they're hybrids. To highlight this fact, each SUV has the word HYBRID stenciled under the door panels in giant letters.

Of course, if the Democrats really cared about the environment, Obama wouldn't be giving his acceptance speech Thursday in front of 75,000 people at Invesco Field. Just think about the impact: transportation for 50,000 extra attendees, additional power usage for the giant stadium, the need to create redundant logistical systems for setup, credentialing, security, etc. I suppose it's a small price to pay for what blogger Scott Johnson playfully dubbed the Democratischeparteitag der Einheit und Starke, or "Democratic Party Rally Day of Unity and Strength."

The question is how much unity there will be. Today is Hillary Day at the convention, and the senator will give an afternoon speech to Emily's List and a prime-time performance on the PepsiCenter's main stage. She has endured a string of snubs from Obama and his supporters in recent weeks, including the disclosure that she was not even considered for the vice-presidential slot.

What will she do?

Yesterday, Clinton made her first appearance at the convention. She said all the right things - calling for unity and claiming that it was important to elect a Democratic president. But she had not a single positive recommendation to make for Obama himself.

It looks as if her remarks may be designed to assuage conventiongoers, but not Democratic voters who have substantive concerns about Obama. It's a delicate dance.

Never a dull moment at the creature cantina.